Notes

Context:
JLB 148, 11/13/1878-11/15/1878 or 11/16/1878: "I should really rather like to start making rough sketches of some of the many things one meets along the way, but considering I wouldn't actually do it very well and it would most likely keep me from my real work, it's better I don't begin."

Context:
BVG 131, 8/5/1879: "I should have some drawings to show you, types from here; it wouldn't be worth while for you to leave the train for those alone ..."
JLB 153, 8/5/1879: "Would be able to show you some drawings, types from here, not that they alone make it worth your while to get off the train ..." 5. "Often I draw"BVG 131, 8/5/1879.

Context:
BVG 131, 8/5/1879: "Often I draw far into the night, to keep some souvenir and to strengthen the thoughts raised involuntarily by the aspect of things here."
JLB 153, 8/5/1879: "Often sit up drawing until late at night to have some keepsakes and to strengthen thoughts that automatically spring to mind upon seeing the things." 6. "costumes and tools"Hulsker, p. 81. (See Ch. 13, n. 4.) 7. tiny panoramasVan Heugten, p. 15. 8. Theo's promptingGiven Vincent's strained relations with his family at this time, and Tersteeg's demonstrated lack of sympathy for Vincent's convulsive career search, it is inconceivable that Tersteeg sent these gifts unprompted. The dispositive proof of Tersteeg's antipathy came two years later when Vincent writes him from Brussels inquiring about a possible art-related job in The Hague that summer (1881). Tersteeg's response is unequivocally negative, and it is impossible to imagine why he would have been more genuinely sympathetic two years before. It is possible that he, like Theo, saw drawing and making watercolors as a bourgeois hobby that had rehabilitative value for Vincent, and, in that spirit, supported Theo's encouragements in that direction. But this is a world away from suggesting, as some do, that the gifts of 1879 show that Tersteeg recognized Vincent's special artistic talents or supported his artistic aspirations. 9. set of watercolorsBVG 131, 8/5/1879: Tersteeg also sent a sketchbook. Vincent supplemented the sketchbook, which he soon reported "already half full,"by buying a sketchbook of "old Dutch paper"while in Brussels (Mechelen, precisely) seeing Pieterszen (JLB 153, 8/5/1879).

Context:
JLB 153, 8/5/1879: "But old boy, I don't have any time, had to write urgently to Mr. Tersteeg to thank him for the box of paints he sent and the sketchbook, already half full." 10. "souvenirs"BVG 131, 8/5/1879. When he invited Theo to come to visit him in the Borinage, Vincent mentioned that he had been doing some drawing: "Would be able to show you some drawings, types from here, not that they alone make it worth your while to get off the train"(JLB 153, 8/5/1879). About the same time, Vincent took some drawing on his trip to see Rev. Pieterszen in Brussels. These drawings will be discussed later in the chapter.

Context:
BVG 131, 8/5/1879: "Often I draw far into the night, to keep some souvenir and to strengthen the thoughts raised involuntarily by the aspect of things here."
JLB 153, 8/5/1879: "Often sit up drawing until late at night to have some keepsakes and to strengthen thoughts that automatically spring to mind upon seeing the things." 11. "the aspect"BVG 131, 8/5/1879.

Context:
BVG 131, 8/5/1879: "Often I draw far into the night, to keep some souvenir and to strengthen the thoughts raised involuntarily by the aspect of things here."
JLB 153, 8/5/1879: "Often sit up drawing until late at night to have some keepsakes and to strengthen thoughts that automatically spring to mind upon seeing the things." 12. recreational watercolorist himselfPiérard, The Tragic Life of Vincent van Gogh, p. 55: According to Piérard, Pieterszen "had a taste for water-colour drawings." Vincent says that Pieterszen painted "in the style of Schelfhout or Hoppenbrouwers"(JLB 153, 8/5/1879). Johannes Franciscus Hoppenbrouwers (1819-1866) was the student of Andreas Schelfhout (1787-1870), who was a major figure in Dutch art in the first half of the century and a favorite of Vincent's Uncle Cent. 13. Theo thought much ofVan Heugten, p. 15: Critical opinion of these drawings has not changed much since the Van Gogh brothers dismissed them. In his detailed analysis in the catalogue raisonné, Van Heugten makes the following statement: "In quality they range from rather clumsy sketches to quite successful scenes, but not one of them displays signs of any real talent." It is clear that Vincent saw a clear demarcation between the drawings done before summer 1880 and the drawings done thereafter. In asking Theo to send him a book of Georges Michel etchings in September 1880, he wrote: "I'll be very eager to see those landscapes again, because now I see things with a different eye from the time when I wasn't yet drawing"(JLB 157, 9/7/1880). JLB note that "etchings after Michel"refers to Étude sur George Michel by Alfred Sensier (JLB 157, 9/7/1880; n. 12). Vincent respects the same line of demarcation the following April: "You should take into account that it is only a short time since I started drawing, although I made little sketches when I was a boy"(BVG 143, 4/12/1881). (Note: the quote in BVG 143, 4/12/1881 appeared in a paragraph at the bottom of the letter after Vincent's signature. However, the JLB version has omitted these lines because they do not appear in the original letter.) Together, these uncalculated references strike us as dispositive on the question of when Vincent began to think of himself as an artist. 14. "It wouldn't be worthwhile"BVG 131, 8/5/1879.

Context:
BVG 131, 8/5/1879: "If you have time to stay a day, or more or less, I should be very happy; I should have some drawings to show you, types from here; it wouldn't be worth while for you to leave the train for those alone, but you would easily find something to attract you in the scenery and in the curious aspect of things -- everything in this neighbourhood has such a picturesque character."
JLB 153, 8/5/1879: "Would be able to show you some drawings, types from here, not that they alone make it worth your while to get off the train, but here you would easily find something that appeals to you in the scenery and in the singularity of everything, for there's so much picturesque character in everything in this region." 212 15. apparently never came upThose, like Hulsker, who argue that Vincent began to see himself as an artist in the summer of 1879 have the insurmountable hurdle of explaining why the discussion of Vincent's future that the brothers had in August 1879 (summarized in JLB 154, 8/11/1879-8/14/1879) and the first letter after the long silence in the winter of 1879–80 (JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880) are both silent on the issue of Vincent becoming an artist (Hulsker, Vincent and Theo, p. 88). If the idea had been seriously entertained by anyone as of July 1880, surely it would have been mentioned in one of these two searching examinations of Vincent's options. The same obstacle presents itself to those (like Bonger) who trace Vincent's artistic ambitions to the visit to Breton's studio in Courrières in early March. 16. "cast aside"BVG 136, 9/24/1880. After emerging from the terrible winter of 1879–80, Vincent declared: "I'll pick up my pencil that I put down in my great discouragement and I'll get back to drawing"(JLB 158, 9/24/1880). Prior to leaving the Denis house the previous August, Vincent reported that he had been drawing "until late at night to have some keepsakes and to strengthen thoughts that automatically spring to mind upon seeing the things"(JLB 158, 9/24/1880).

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "I shall set to work again with my pencil, which I had cast aside in my deep dejection, and I shall draw again."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "I'll pick up my pencil that I put down in my great discouragement and I'll get back to drawing." 17. Theo urged himBVG 184, 4/1/1882-4/15/1882. Van Heugten offers: "Although this change of course [from religion to art] has always been presented as Van Gogh's own idea, it was in fact Theo's. Possibly prompted by Vincent's wish to revisit 'the land of pictures,' he had suggested that he become a painter." (Van Heugten, p. 14.)

Context:
JLB 214, 4/2/1882: "Now that you write about it, I remember very well that when you spoke to me back then about my becoming a painter, I thought it very inappropriate and wouldn't hear of it." 18. drawing as a "handicraft"BVG 337, 10/31/1883: Three years later, Vincent acknowledged this.

Context:
BVG 337, 10/29/1883-11/2/1883: "Besides, you yourself helped me realize the idea of a handicraft, and I know that basically it is your idea too, so I think we ought to co-operate from now on."
JLB 401, 10/31/1883: "Well, you yourself helped me carry through the idea of a craft; I know that basically it's your own idea too, and so it seems to me that we should go on to work together." 19. I thought it veryBVG 184, 4/1/1882-4/15/1882: Vincent goes on to attribute his ultimate rejection of these initial doubts to an epiphanic moment using the Cassagne. "[I] drew an interior of a little kitchen, with stove, chair and table and window in their place and on their legs, whereas it used to seem to me downright witchcraft or coincidence that one had depth and proper perspective in a drawing. If you drew just one thing as it should be drawn, the desire to attack 1,000 other things would be irresistible." (JLB 214, 4/2/1882.) Van Heugten cites this passage to support his statement that "the main obstacle [to Vincent's becoming an artist] was his own lack of faith in his technical ability"(Van Heugten, p. 14). We doubt the reportorial accuracy of this charming story conveyed by Vincent two years after the fact. He may indeed have had the successful experiment with perspective drawing that he describes, but to the extent that proficiency was a factor in his decision at the time, it would surely have been proficiency in regard not to perspective drawing but to figure drawing, which was his consuming passion throughout this period. His persistence in the face of a considerable lack of proficiency in figure drawing suggests that proficiency was never the decisive issue for Vincent.

Context:
BVG 184, April 1882: "I remember quite well, now that you write about it, that at the time when you spoke of my becoming a painter, I thought it very impractical and would not hear of it."
JLB 214, 4/2/1882: "Now that you write about it, I remember very well that when you spoke to me back then about my becoming a painter, I thought it very inappropriate and wouldn't hear of it." 20. in fact, sold someIn his retelling of the trip to Courrières the previous winter, Vincent writes, "I earned a few crusts of bread en route here and there in exchange for some drawings that I had in my suitcase"(JLB 158, 9/24/1880). We think Vincent is probably inventing this story to convince Theo that his work is saleable. By his own admission, he was not drawing during this period (although he could have sold old ones) and the few sales he had made the previous summer (unbeknownst to him) were all financed by his father. Moreover, one month before telling this story, he wrote, "One of these days I'll earn a farthing or two with some scratch of a miner"(JLB 157, 9/7/1880). 21. paid ten francsb2448 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus van"to "Gogh, Theo van", 12/15/1878. 22. "nurse [Vincent] back"b2488 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus van"to "Gogh, Theo van", 8/7/1879. 23. "I have wasted"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "... it is true that I might have done better, it is true that I have wasted time when it comes to earning a living ... "
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "... it's true that I could have done better, it's true that just in terms of earning my living I've lost time ... " 24. draw unmolestedBVG 134, 8/20/1880. Vincent describes one of the drawings he did at the entrance to a coalmine: "I've done a scratch of miners, male and female thrutchers, going to the pit in the morning, in the snow, on a path beside a thorn-hedge: passing shadows, dimly visible in the dusk. In the background, the large mine buildings and the slag heap are becoming indistinct against the sky." (JLB 156, 8/20/1880.) 25. "He made pictures"Piérard, The Tragic Life of Vincent van Gogh, p. 48. 26. "models with some"BVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "I hope that after having copied the other two series by Bargue, I shall be able to draw miners, male and female, more or less well, if by chance I can have a model with some character; and as to that, there are plenty of them."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I really hope that after copying Bargue's two other series as well I'll be able to draw a more or less reasonable miner or female thrutcher, when one of these days it will be possible for me to have a model with some character, and as far as that's concerned, there are some here." 27. "It is the same"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "You should know that it is the same with evangelists as it is with artists."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "You must know that it's the same with evangelists as with artists." 28. "Try to grasp"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "Try to understand the last word of what the great artists, the serious masters, say in their masterpieces; there will be God in it."

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "In the same way I think that everything that is really good and beautiful, the inner, moral, spiritual and sublime beauty in men and their works, comes from God, and everything that is bad and evil in the works of men and in men is not from God, and God does not approve of it."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "Now likewise, everything in men and in their works that is truly good, and beautiful with an inner moral, spiritual and sublime beauty, I think that that comes from God, and that everything that is bad and wicked in the works of men and in men, that's not from God, and God doesn't find it good, either." 30. "inner, moral"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "In the same way I think that everything that is really good and beautiful, the inner, moral, spiritual and sublime beauty in men and their works, comes from God ..."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "Now likewise, everything in men and in their works that is truly good, and beautiful with an inner moral, spiritual and sublime beauty, I think that that comes from God ..." 31. "odious and tyrannical"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "There is an old academic school, often odious and tyrannical, the "abomination of desolation,"in short, men who dress, as it were, in a suit of steel armour, a cuirass, of prejudice and convention."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "There's an old, often detestable, tyrannical academic school, the abomination of desolation, in fact -- men having, so to speak, a suit of armour, a steel breastplate of prejudices and conventions." 213 32. "old academic schools"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "There is an old academic school, often odious and tyrannical ..."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "There's an old, often detestable, tyrannical academic school ..." 33. "exclude the man"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "When they are in charge, it is they who hand out the jobs and try, with much red tape, to keep them for their proteges and to exclude the man with an open mind."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "Those men, when they're in charge of things, have positions at their disposal, and by a system of circumlocution seek to support their protégés, and to exclude the natural man from among them." 34. "bound up in one"

BVG 347, 12/18/1883: Note we have slightly altered Bonger's translation.

Context:
BVG 347, 12/18/1883: "Something better than the days of the Rijswijk mill -- namely the same thing but for good and all -- two poor brother artists -- bound up in one and the same feeling, for one and the same nature and art -- will it ever come to that?"
Note: this passage does not appear in the corresponding JLB translation (JLB 413, 12/15/1883).

Context:
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "It's possible that I wouldn't even have written to you now if it weren't that I'm under the obligation, the necessity, of writing to you. If, I say, you yourself hadn't imposed that necessity." 36. Only the "magic force"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "To be friends, to be brothers, to love; that opens the prison through sovereign power, through a most powerful spell." 37. Protesting his "homesickness"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "And I do not regret that, and even now, far from home, I often feel homesick for the land of pictures."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "And I don't repent it, and now, far from the country again, I often feel homesick for the country of paintings." 38. insisted that his enthusiasmBVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "So it would be a misunderstanding if you were to persist in believing that, for example, I would be less warm now towards Rembrandt or Millet or Delacroix, or whomever or whatever, because it's the opposite." 39. "I think you would rather"BVG 134, 8/20/1880: We have combined elements from both translations.

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "It is because I think you would rather see me doing some good work than nothing that I write to you on this subject, and perhaps it might be a reason for restoring the entente cordiale and the sympathy between us, and make us of some use to one another."
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "It's because I think you'd prefer to see me doing something good than doing nothing at all that I'm writing to you on this subject, and perhaps it would be a reason why good understanding and friendship might be re-established between the two of us, and we might perhaps be useful to one another." 40. "entente cordiale"BVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "It is because I think you would rather see me doing some good work than nothing that I write to you on this subject, and perhaps it might be a reason for restoring the entente cordiale and the sympathy between us, and make us of some use to one another."
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "It's because I think you'd prefer to see me doing something good than doing nothing at all that I'm writing to you on this subject, and perhaps it would be a reason why good understanding and friendship might be re-established between the two of us, and we might perhaps be useful to one another." 41. "make us of some use"BVG 134, 8/20/1880. (See Ch. 13, n. 38.)

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "It is because I think you would rather see me doing some good work than nothing that I write to you on this subject, and perhaps it might be a reason for restoring the entente cordiale and the sympathy between us, and make us of some use to one another."
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "It's because I think you'd prefer to see me doing something good than doing nothing at all that I'm writing to you on this subject, and perhaps it would be a reason why good understanding and friendship might be re-established between the two of us, and we might perhaps be useful to one another."

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "And I do not regret that, and even now, far from home, I often feel homesick for the land of pictures" (emphasis in original).
JLB 155, 6/24/1880: "And I don’t repent it, and now, far from the country again, I often feel homesick for the country of paintings."BVG 133, July 1880: "And I do not regret that, and even now, far from home, I often feel homesick for the land of pictures"(emphasis in original). 43. "I haven't been to Barbizon"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "I haven't been to Barbizon, but though I haven't been there, I did go to Courrieres last winter."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "I haven't seen Barbizon, but although I haven't seen it, last winter I saw Courrières." 44. "walking tour"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "I went on a walking tour in the Pas-de-Calais, not the English Channel but the department, or province."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "I made a trip on foot mainly in the Pas de Calais, not the Channel but the department." 45. thatched-roof farmhousesBVG 136, 9/24/1880. (See Ch. 13, n. 44.)

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Furthermore, there were the farmhouses and sheds that had still preserved their mossy thatched roofs, God be praised and thanked for it ..."

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "But anyway I did seen the country around Courrières then, the haystacks, the brown farmland or the marled earth, almost coffee-coloured (with whitish spots where the marl shows through), which seems somewhat unusual to people like us who are used to a blackish soil."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "But at any rate I saw the Courrières countryside then, the haystacks, the brown farmland or the almost coffee-coloured marly soil, with whitish spots where the marl appears, which is something rather extraordinary for those of us who are used to blackish soil." 47. "fine, bright"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "And the French sky looked to me much finer and brighter than the smoky, foggy sky of the Borinage."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "And the French sky seemed to me far more clear and limpid than the smoky and misty Borinage sky." 48. replaced the choking smogBVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "And the French sky seemed to me far more clear and limpid than the smoky and misty Borinage sky." 49. "all manner of workmen"BVG 136, 9/24/1880. (See Ch. 13, n. 44.)

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "Not to mention, as I ought to have done in the first place, the characteristic and picturesque figures of all manner of workmen, diggers, woodcutters, a farmhand driving his wagon and a silhouette of a woman in a white cap."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Not to mention first of all, as one should, the typical and picturesque figures of the workmen: different diggers, woodcutters, a farm-hand driving his team, and the occasional outline of a woman in a white bonnet."

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "Although this trip nearly killed me and I came back spent with fatigue, with crippled feet and in more or less depressed state of mind, I do not regret it, because I saw some interesting things and the terrible ordeals of suffering are what teach you to look at things through different eyes."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Although this stage was almost unbearable to me, and I returned from it worn out, with bruised feet and in a rather melancholy state, I don't regret it, because I saw interesting things and you learn to see with a quite different eye, there among the raw ordeals of poverty itself." 214 51. homestudy courseChetham, p. 62: "In effect it was a mail-order course in the academic training of the day. As such it was not unusual; any number of similar pattern books existed in the 19th century." According to Van Heugten, Vincent probably knew these books from his Goupil days (Van Heugten, p. 15). 52. Les ExercicesBVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I would be further on with them if it weren't for the fact that I first wanted to do Bargue's Exercices au fusain, which Mr. Tersteeg has been so kind as to lend me, and now I've finished the 60 sheets." 53. Les Cours de dessinBVG 136, 9/24/1880. Vincent references Cours de dessin by Charles Bargue multiple times in his letters. According to JLB, Cours de dessin was primarily known as "a series of drawing examples published by Goupil & Cie as loose leaves"(JLB 136, 12/3/1877-12/4/1877; n. 22). It was also a drawing course (JLB 157, 9/7/1880; n. 9). Bargue's publication was broken into two volumes: Modèles d'après la bosse and Modèles d'après les maîtres (JLB 136, 12/3/1877-12/4/1877). More than two years earlier, Vincent referred already to having "a sheet from Bargue's Cours de dessin (the drawing examples), 1st part, No. 39, Anne of Brittany"hanging in his room (JLB 136, 12/3/1877-12/4/1877).

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "I'm still working on Bargue's Cours de dessin, and plan to finish it before undertaking anything else, since day by day it exercises and strengthens both my hand and my mind, and I wouldn't be able to feel sufficiently indebted to Mr. Tersteeg for having so generously lent them to me. These models are excellent." 54. Guide de l'alphabetBVG 184, 4/1/1882-4/15/1882. "Guide de l'Abc du dessin"most likely refers to Guide de l'alphabet du dessin by Armand Théophile Cassagne (1880) (JLB 214, 4/2/1882; n. 2).

Context:
JLB 214, 4/2/1882: "What made me stop doubting is that I read a clearly written book on perspective, Cassagne, Guide de l'Abc du dessin, and a week later drew an interior of a little kitchen, with stove, chair and table and window in their place and on their legs, whereas it used to seem to me downright witchcraft or coincidence that one had depth and proper perspective in a drawing"(emphasis in original). 55. these big booksBVG 136, 9/24/1880. JLB identifies this third book as probably Albert von Zahn's Esquisses anatomiques à l'usage des artistes pour server aux études d'après nature et d'après l'antique (JLB 158, 9/24/1880; n. 3), which Vincent mentions a few months later in Brussels (JLB 160, 11/1/1880). 56. "I have now finished"BVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "I would be further on with them if it weren't for the fact that I first wanted to do Bargue's Exercices au fusain, which Mr. Tersteeg has been so kind as to lend me, and now I've finished the 60 sheets."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I would be further on with them if it weren't for the fact that I first wanted to do Bargue's Exercices au fusain, which Mr. Tersteeg has been so kind as to lend me, and now I've finished the 60 sheets." 57. first of many timesVincent's enthusiasm for these manuals -- with their promise of sure success to the diligent -- never diminished. In the last months of his life, he begged Theo to send him a copy of the Bargue Études au fusain (JLB 877, 6/3/1890). "I'd be absolutely set upon copying [it] again,"he wrote, bragging, "I can draw them quite quickly"(ibid.). 58. "I worked almost"BVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "I worked almost a whole fortnight on the former, from early morning until night, and daily I seem to feel that it invigorates my pencil."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I've worked on the first ones for a fortnight or thereabouts, from very early in the morning until evening, and day by day I've believed I could feel that it was making me stronger." 59. worked with astonishing intensityBVG 135, 9/7/1880. 60. squatting on a camp stoolPiérard, The Tragic Life of Vincent van Gogh, p. 39. 61. balanced on his kneesPiérard, "Among the Miners of the Borinage,"pp. 47, 48. 62. in the gardenBVG 137, 10/15/1880.

Context:
JLB 159, 10/15/1880: "It's also true that for the Exercices au fusain and Les modèles d'après la bosse [Plaster-cast Models by Bargue] from Bargue, I did draw them there all the same, either in the little study or outside in the garden, but now that I've come to the portraits after Holbein &c. in the 3rd part of the Cours de dessin, it wouldn't do any more." 63. a hundred and twenty drawingsBVG 135, 9/7/1880. This period is between August 20 (JLB 156, 8/20/1880) and September 7 (JLB 157, 9/7/1880). It is possible that there was some overlap (and exaggeration) in the totals Vincent gives. It is also likely that some work was begun in this period but only reported subsequently. 64. "My hand and my mind"BVG 136, 9/24/1880. If he thought an effort feeble, he would immediately "go back to it and work on it again, until it succeeded"(JLB 158, 9/24/1880). He made multiple attempts to copy "a large sepia after T. Rousseau [Théodore Rousseau] … I'd done it twice before, small, in watercolours, before succeeding with it"(JLB 157, 9/7/1880).

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "I am still working on Bargue's Coeurs de Dessin, and intend to finish it before I go on to anything else, for both my hand and my mind are growing daily more supple and strong as a result, and I cannot thank Mr. Tersteeg enough for having been so kind as to lend it to me."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "I'm still working on Bargue's Cours de dessin, and plan to finish it before undertaking anything else, since day by day it exercises and strengthens both my hand and my mind, and I wouldn't be able to feel sufficiently indebted to Mr. Tersteeg for having so generously lent them to me." 65. "demanding"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "These studies are demanding and sometimes the books are extremely tedious, but I think all the same that it's doing me good to study them."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "This study is thorny, and sometimes these books are as irritating as could be, but nevertheless I believe that I'm doing the right thing by studying them." 66. "extremely tedious"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "These studies are demanding and sometimes the books are extremely tedious, but I think all the same that it's doing me good to study them."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "This study is thorny, and sometimes these books are as irritating as could be, but nevertheless I believe that I'm doing the right thing by studying them." 67. "If I cease"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "If I do nothing, if I study nothing, if I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "… if I do nothing, if I don't study, if I don't keep on trying, then I'm lost, then woe betide me." 68. "great fire"BVG 133, July 1880. Vincent presents this not just as a Romantic trope, but as a fully realized Victorian conceit that doubles as a paean of brotherly love: "Well, then, what can I say; does what goes on inside show on the outside? Someone has a great fire in his soul and nobody ever comes to warm themselves at it, and passers-by see nothing but a little smoke at the top of the chimney and then go on their way. So now what are we to do, keep this fire alive inside, have salt in ourselves, wait patiently, but with how much impatience, await the hour, I say, when whoever wants to, will come and sit down there, will stay there, for all I know?" (JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880.) Theo, of course, is the person Vincent is inviting to come out of the wintry cold and warm himself beside Vincent's "inward fire."

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "There may be a great fire in our soul, but no one ever comes to warm himself by it, all that passers-by can see is a little smoke coming out of the chimney, and they walk on."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "Someone has a great fire in his soul and nobody ever comes to warm themselves at it, and passers-by see nothing but a little smoke at the top of the chimney and then go on their way." 69. other images to copyBVG 135, 9/7/1880. It should be noted that, in addition to all the artists and images that Vincent specifies in his letters to Theo, he also purchased two volumes of the Musée Universel, in which he found "a fair number of interesting wood engravings,"which he does not describe (JLB 157, 9/7/1880). Thus, a comprehensive summary of what he was looking at is not feasible.

Context:
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "The other day I bought 2 volumes of the Musée Universel for 2.50 francs, in which there are a fair number of interesting wood engravings, including 3 Millets." 70. Quatre heuresBVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "I must tell you that I am busy sketching large drawings after Millet, and that I have already finished 'The Four Hours of the Day' as well as 'The Sower.'"
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "You should know that I'm sketching large drawings after Millet, and that I've done The four times of the day, as well as The sower." 71. Les Travaux des ChampsBVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "I can tell you that I have sketched the ten sheets of 'Les Travaux des Champs' by Millet (almost the size of a page in Cours de Dessin Bargue), and that I have completely finished one."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I'll tell you, then, that I've sketched the 10 sheets of Millet's Labours of the fields (in approximately the dimensions of a sheet of the Bargue Cours de dessin) and that I've completely finished one of them, namely The woodcutter."

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "But I feel the need to study the drawing of the figure from masters like Millet, Breton, Brion, or Boughton, or others."
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "But I feel the need to study figure drawing from masters like Millet, Breton and Brion or Boughton, or someone else." 73. like Millet and BretonBVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "They're mainly figure studies, such as Millet's The diggers, or the lithograph after his Winnower. And figures by Brion or Frère or Feyen-Perrin or Jules Breton." 74. "These are the things"BVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "There you are, it's things like that I need to have before my eyes." 75. soon he demandedBVG 134, 8/20/1880. Vincent begins this request deferentially: "Don't buy any specially [prints named by Vincent], but lend me what you may have"(JLB 156, 8/20/1880). In a postscript, however, he gives Theo exact instructions on what he should buy and where he should buy it. "I believe you could find just what I need at the Alliance des Arts, where they have the lithographs by Contemporary Artists &c., which are sold there extremely cheaply. A sheet that I'd be immensely glad to have is Daubigny's large etching after Ruisdael, The bush, which is on sale at the print-shop in the Louvre." (ibid.)

Context:
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "Now, if you'd like to send me The labours of the fields, perhaps you could also add some other sheets by or after Millet, J. Breton, Feyen-Perrin, &c. Don't buy any specially, but lend me what you may have." 76. giants like Ruysdael'sBVG 135, 9/7/1880: Jacob Isaackson van Ruisdael (1628/29-1682; Dutch artist).

Context:
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I would, as I've already told you, really like to do Ruysdael's The bush, too." 77. Barbizon heroes like DaubignyBVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "A sheet that I'd be immensely glad to have is Daubigny's large etching after Ruisdael, The bush, which is on sale at the print-shop in the Louvre." 78. RousseauBVG 135, 9/7/1880: Théodore Rousseau. Vincent offered to show Theo some of his drawings, "such as a large sepia after T. Rousseau, Oven in Les Landes [a vast plain south of Bordeaux]"(JLB 157, 9/7/1880).

Context:
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "I'd very much like to be able to show you them, to have your opinion on all of it, as well as on some other drawings, such as a large sepia after T. Rousseau, Oven in Les Landes [a vast plain south of Bordeaux]." 79. Despite repeated pledgesBVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "Especially in view of the fact that Mr. Tersteeg and you, too, have come to my aid with good models; because I believe I do much better for the time being by first copying some good things than by working without that foundation." 80. draw "from nature"BVG 553b, 10/2/1888. Eight years later, Vincent wrote a friend that "in short, it was in the Borinage that I began to work from nature for the first time"(JLB 693, 10/2/1888).

Context:
BVG 553b, 10/2/1888: "As a matter of fact it was in the Borinage that I first started to work from nature."
JLB 693, 10/2/1888: "In short, it was in the Borinage that I began to work from nature for the first time." 81. women carryingSecrétan-Rollier, p. 64. 82. a family harvesting potatoesPiérard, "Among the Miners of the Borinage," pp. 47-48: Piérard quotes Gustave Desault ("a Protestant [who] knew Van Gogh at Cuesmes in the late summer through the early fall of 1880"): "The most striking picture, the one that has stayed in the memory of my sister-in-law, with whom he lodged, is the drawing that shows the family harvesting potatoes; some are digging, the others (the women) are gathering up the potatoes." 83. cows in a pasturePiérard, "Among the Miners of the Borinage," pp. 47-48. 84. former landlady Esther DenisPiérard, The Tragic Life of Vincent van Gogh, p. 64: The author says that Vincent "sketched several portraits,"of which Mme. Denis was one. (Esther Denis, wife of Jean-Baptiste Denis, Vincent's landlord in Petit-Wasmes.) 85. took his folding stoolPiérard, The Tragic Life of Vincent van Gogh, p. 39. 86. to the mine entrancePiérard, The Tragic Life of Vincent van Gogh, p. 39: Piérard relates the recollection of an "old miner"who said, "he could still see Van Gogh, seated on a folding-stool at the pit-head (pit No. 10, Grisoeul), making a sketch of the miners as they emerged with their lamps on their wrists and blinking in the sudden daylight." This drawing may be the same as or similar to the one Vincent describes in an August letter: "I've done a scratch of miners, male and female thrutchers, going to the pit in the morning, in the snow, on a path beside a thorn-hedge: passing shadows, dimly visible in the dusk. In the background, the large mine buildings and the slag heap are becoming indistinct against the sky." (JLB 156, 8/20/1880.) Vincent sent a sketch of this drawing in the letter. 87. dismissed as "clumsy"BVG 140, 1/1/1881.

Context:
BVG 140, January 1881: "They vaguely resemble certain drawings by [Auguste André] Lançon, or certain English wood engravings, but as yet they are more clumsy and awkward."
JLB 162, January 1881: "They vaguely resemble certain drawings by Lançon or certain English wood engravings, but even clumsier, more awkward." 88. He later admitted destroyingBVG 553b, 10/2/1888.

Context:
JLB 693, 10/2/1888: "In short, it was in the Borinage that I began to work from nature for the first time. But I destroyed all that long ago, of course." 215 89. "passing shadows"BVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "I have sketched a drawing representing miners, men and women, going to the shaft in the morning through the snow, by a path along a thorn hedge: passing shadows, dimly visible in the twilight."
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "I've done a scratch of miners, male and female thrutchers, going to the pit in the morning, in the snow, on a path beside a thorn-hedge: passing shadows, dimly visible in the dusk." 90. "an effect of brown"BVG 134, 8/20/1880.

Context:
BVG 134, 8/20/1880: "The pendant represents the return of the miners, but it did not turn out so well; it is very difficult, being an effect of brown silhouettes, just touched by light, against a mottled sky at sunset."
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "The pendant is of the miners' return, but it's less successful as it stands. It's very difficult, as it involves an effect of brown silhouettes encircled by light against a streaky sunset sky." 91. "I could not keep"BVG 135, 9/7/1880: Vincent reported finishing this drawing after his first completion of the Exercices au fusain, but before finishing the last two parts of the Cours de dessin.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "Yet I could not keep from sketching in a rather large size the drawing of the miners going to the shaft which I sent you a hasty sketch of, though I changed the placement of the figures a little."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "However, I couldn't help sketching, in fairly large dimensions, the drawing of the miners going to the pit, of which I sent you the croquis, changing the arrangement of the figures slightly." 92. "I have already drawn"BVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "I have already drawn "The Sower"five times, twice in small size, three times in large, and I will take it up again, I am so entirely absorbed in that figure."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "As for The sower, I've drawn it 5 times now, twice small, 3 times large, and yet I'll go back to it again, that figure haunts me so." 93. "undergone some misery"BVG 137, 10/15/1880.

Context:
BVG 137, 10/15/1880: "For I have undergone some misery in the Belgian 'black country,' and my health has not been very good lately."
JLB 159, 10/15/1880: "Because I've certainly experienced some sufferings in the Belgian 'black country', and my health hasn't been too good lately." 94. "good things"BVG 137, 10/15/1880.

Context:
BVG 137, 10/15/1880: "For I feel that it is absolutely necessary to have good things to look at and also to see artists at work."
JLB 159, 10/15/1880: "Because I feel that it's absolutely necessary to have good things before one's eyes, and also to see artists at work." 95. "make good"BVG 137, 10/15/1880.

Context:
BVG 137, 10/15/1880: "It had already been a long time since I have seen enough pictures or drawings etc., and the very sight of some good things here in Brussels has given me new inspiration and has strengthened my desire to make good things myself."
JLB 159, 10/15/1880: "For a long time now I haven't seen enough paintings or drawings &c., and the mere sight of a few good things here in Brussels has raised my morale, so to speak, and has further increased the desire that I have to learn to do something with my own hands." 96. Figure drawingIt is important to keep in mind that Vincent was hardly unique in placing a higher value on figure drawing than on landscape, still life, or portraiture. White and White quote André Félibien, an art chronicler and official historian in the court of Louis XIV: "Thus, he who paints landscapes perfectly is above the one who makes only [pictures of] fruits, flowers or shells. He who paints living animals is more estimable than those who represent only things that are dead and motionless and since the figure of man is the most perfect earthly work of God, it is certain also that he who gives himself to the imitation of God in painting human figures is more excellent than all others." (White and White, p. 90.) 216–216 97. "keeping busy"b2521V/1982, ''Gogh-Carbentus, Anna C. van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 4/18/1877. 98. cries of exasperationBVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "You can see, then, that I'm working like mad, but for the moment it isn't giving very heartening results." 99. I am workingBVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "So you see that I am working away hard, though for the moment it is not yielding particularly gratifying results."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "You can see, then, that I'm working like mad, but for the moment it isn't giving very heartening results." 100. "the best thing"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "For the moment I do not see how it could be feasible, and the best thing is for me to stay here and work as hard as I can, and, after all, it is cheaper to live here."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "For the moment I can't see how the thing would be practicable, and it's better that I stay here, working as I can and will be able to, and after all, it's cheaper to live here." 101. sent him fifty francsBVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "I learned at Etten that you had sent fifty francs for me; well, I accepted them. Certainly reluctantly, certainly with a rather melancholy feeling, but I'm in some sort of impasse or mess; what else can one do?" 102. revived their relationshipBVG 133, July 1880. 103. "Honestly"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Because in truth, to be able to work as one should, it would take at least about a hundred francs a month …" 104. "Poverty stops"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "Poverty stops the best minds in their tracks' the old [Bernard] Palissy saying goes, which has some truth in it and is entirely true if you understand its real meaning and import."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Poverty prevents good minds succeeding; that's Palissy's old proverb, in which there's truth, and which is entirely true if one understands its real purpose and import." 105. "if I have come"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "But to change the subject -- if I have come down in the world, you have in a different way come up in it."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880 -6/24/1880: "But to speak of something else, if I've come down in the world, you, on the other hand, have gone up." 106. "magic force"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "To be friends, to be brothers, to love; that opens the prison through sovereign power, through a most powerful spell." 217 107. was their progenyBVG 136, 9/24/1880. Vincent compares his new work as an artist to childbirth: "You can see, then, that I'm working like mad, but for the moment it isn't giving very heartening results. But I have hopes that these thorns will bear white flowers in their time, and that this apparently sterile struggle is nothing other than a labour of giving birth. First pain, then joy afterwards." (JLB 158, 9/24/1880.) We agree (in a metaphorical, not psychiatric way) with Nagera's comment: "This conscious comparison of his work with the labour of childbirth is to be repeated frequently later on in connection with the creation of his paintings. ... in this context the painting are the babies he produces for Theo and in collaboration with Theo who fecundates him (among other ways by sending him the money for his economic support)." (Nagera, pp. 60-61.) However, we disagree with Nagera where he seems to undercut his own argument: "The connection between [Vincent's] taking up drawing and his wish to restore his relationship with Theo is soon to disappear from his conscious awareness. A month later [August 1880] he is referring to his taking up drawing as something he has decided in his own right and independently of anything and anybody." (ibid., p. 60.) The argument appears to dismiss Vincent's statement to Theo in 1883: "you yourself helped me carry through the idea of a craft; I know that basically it's your own idea too, and so it seems to me that we should go on to work together"(JLB 401, 10/31/1883). 108. "depressing dependence"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "But now, though I continue to be conscious of my failings and of my depressing dependence on a great many things, now I have recovered my peace of mind and my energy increases by the day."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "But now, while feeling both my weakness and my painful dependence in respect of many things, I've recovered my peace of mind, and my energy is coming back day by day." 109. relentless protestsBVG 134, 8/20/1880: This is a typical example of Vincent's protests.

Context:
JLB 156, 8/20/1880: "You should know that I'm sketching large drawings after Millet, and that I've done The four times of the day, as well as The sower. Well, if you saw them perhaps you wouldn't be too unhappy with them. " 110. "Someday or other"BVG 135, 9/7/1880.

Context:
BVG 135, 9/7/1880: "Someday or other I shall earn a few pennies with some drawings of miners ..."
JLB 157, 9/7/1880: "One of these days I'll earn a farthing or two with some scratch of a miner ..." 111. voice in manipulative schemesBVG 136, 9/24/1880. The first example of this, we think, is Vincent's machinations around the departure for Brussels. He gives multiple reasons for the move, starting with the unlikely complaint that he is unable to find an adequate studio in the Borinage in which to fulfill his pledge to "stay here, working as I can and will be able to, and after all, it's cheaper to live here"(JLB 158, 9/24/1880). Given that Theo was now supporting him, it is inconceivable that in such an economically depressed area he could not find an adequate work space. Nothing is ever heard again about the "small workman's cottage"that he proposes to rent for "about 9 francs a month"(ibid.). Instead, three weeks later, he writes from Brussels with an entirely new and defensively long set of reasons for moving: "[1] it's absolutely necessary to have good things before one's eyes, and also [2] to see artists at work. Because [3] that makes me feel more strongly what I lack, and at the same time [4] I'm learning the way to remedy it. ... [5] the mere sight of a few good things here in Brussels has raised my morale, so to speak, and [6] has further increased the desire that I have to learn to do something with my own hands. ... [7] In Cuesmes, old boy, I couldn't have stood it a month longer without falling ill with misery. … [8] But for nearly 2 years I endured one thing and another in the Borinage, that's no pleasure trip. ... [9] I believe that a lodging and perhaps also a diet slightly better than that of the Borinage will also help to build me up a bit." (JLB 159, 10/15/1880 and JLB 160, 11/1/1880.)

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "At the same time I must tell you that I cannot remain very much longer in the little room where I live now. It is very small room indeed, and then there are the two beds as well, the children's and my own. And now that I am working on Bargue's fairly large sheets I cannot tell you how difficult it is." 112. fits of moral indignationVan Heugten, p. 14: "That it was Theo who persuaded his brother to become an artist throws a new light on their relationship in the years that followed, for now it was little less than Theo's moral obligation to support Vincent in his chosen profession." 113. Theo invited VincentBVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "In your letter you spoke to me vaguely about coming to Paris or the surrounding area. Sooner or later, when it would be possible and when I felt like it." 114. visit the BarbizonBVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Of course, it would be my great and ardent desire to come either to Paris or to Barbizon or somewhere else." 115. "My inner self"BVG 133, July 1880.

Context:
BVG 133, July 1880: "What has changed is that my life then was less difficult and my future seemingly less gloomy, but as far as my inner self, my way of looking at things and of thinking is concerned, that has not changed.... But if there has indeed been a change, then it is that I think, believe and love more seriously now what I thought, believed and loved even then."
JLB 155, 6/22/1880-6/24/1880: "Well, that's not quite how it is; what has changed is that my life was less difficult then and my future less dark, but as far as my inner self, as far as my way of seeing and thinking are concerned, they haven't changed. ... But if in fact there were a change, it's that now I think and I believe and I love more seriously what then, too, I already thought, I believed and I loved." 116. "inner sorrow"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "Even when he draws bricks, granite, iron bars, or the railing of a bridge, [Charles] Méryon puts into his etchings something of the human soul, moved by I do not know what inner sorrow."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Meryon, even when he's drawing bricks, granite, the iron bars or the parapet of a bridge, puts something of the human soul, shaken by I know not what heartache, into his etching." 117. "a nobler, worthier"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "But in Millet, in Jules Breton, in Jozef Israëls, the precious pearl, the human soul, is even more in evidence and better expressed in a nobler, worthier, and if you will allow me, more evangelical tone."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "But it's also found more and better, in a nobler, worthier and, if I may be allowed to say so, more Evangelical tone." 118. "Narrow is the way"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "The way is strait and the gate is strait and there are few that find it." 119. "Even in that"BVG 136, 9/24/1880.

Context:
BVG 136, 9/24/1880: "Well, even in that deep misery I felt my energy revive, and I said to myself: In spite of everything I shall rise again, I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing, and from that moment everything transformed for me."
JLB 158, 9/24/1880: "Well, and notwithstanding, it was in this extreme poverty that I felt my energy return and that I said to myself, in any event I'll recover from it, I'll pick up my pencil that I put down in my great discouragement and I'll get back to drawing, and from then on, it seems to me, everything has changed for me …"