Notes

Context:
JLB 447, 5/28/1884: "As you can imagine, we've made several trips together to the weavers and all sorts of fine things outdoors."

Context:
JLB 439, 3/18/188: "I'm also longing for you to get to know this corner of Brabant sometime -- much more beautiful than the Breda side in my view."

Context:
JLB 439, 3/18/1884: "There's a village here -- Son en Breugel, which is amazingly like Courrières, where the Bretons live -- yet the figures over there are at least as beautiful" (emphasis in original). (Jules Breton and Élodie Breton-De Vigne.)

Context:
JLB 433, 3/2/1884: "Have painted a few studies outdoors these last few days, I'm sending you a croquis of one of them."

BVG 364, 4/1/1884: Vincent specifically names ten drawings that he sent to Van Rappard in two groups. The first, larger group was sent in March and included The Kingfisher (F 1135 JH 468), Behind the Hedgerows (F 1129 JH 461), Pollard Birches (F 1240 JH 469), Poplar Avenue (F 1239 JH 464), and "those first 3 Winter gardens" (Parsonage Garden [F 1130 JH 465], Winter Garden [F 1128 JH 466], and Parsonage Garden [F 1133 JH 485]) (JLB 440, 3/20/1884). The second group, sent in April, included Ditch (F 1243 JH 472), Pine Trees in the Fen (F 1249 JH 473), and Thatched Roofs (F 1242 JH 474) (JLB 441, 3/21/1884-3/28/1884). By way of explanation for this sudden and sizeable offering, Vincent says only that he thought Van Rappard "would like [these subjects]" (ibid.) 

Context:
JLB 440, 3/20/1884: "For this month I have some pen drawings for you; in the first place the ones that are with Van Rappard at the moment -- about which I have a letter from him that he thought they were all beautiful, and the sentiment in Behind the hedgerows and the Kingfisher particularly beautiful."

Vincent works himself into such an extravagance of flattery that he then compares Van Rappard's works to Corot's: "If I didn't see more technique in your little peasant cemetery than in Corot's studies -- I'd liken it to them. In sentiment it's identical -- an endeavour to express only the intimate and the essential." (ibid.; emphasis original.) This stream of fulsome commentary continues into subsequent letters. Referring to a painting of Van Rappard's that he had seen in December, Vincent writes solemnly: "there are surprising forces in" (JLB 448, 5/29/1884). 

Context:
BVG R43, March 1884: "Why I say this is because I think I have noticed that you sometimes disapprove of things in your own work which in my opinion are rather good. In my view, your technique is better than, say, Haverman's, because your brushstroke often has an individual, distinctive, reasoned and deliberate touch, while what one invariably gets with Haverman is convention, redolent at all times of the studio, and never of nature."
JLB 439, 3/18/1884: "In my view, your technique is better than, say, Haverman's -- because already your brushstroke often has something singular, distinctive, reasoned and deliberate about it, which in Haverman is endless convention, always redolent of the studio, not of nature" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 365, 4/1/1884: "Yet he is one of the people that will count -- who will assert themselves -- of whose work one will have to take notice."
JLB 440, 3/20/1884: "Yet he's one of the people who will amount to something -- with whom people will have to reckon -- of whose work people will have to take notice."

Context:
JLB 443, 3/28/1884: "Were you to feel personal sympathy for R.'s work, he'd certainly not be indifferent to you either."

To support this dubious explanation, Vincent stumbles into a vast philosophical justification: "Very well -- and -- say it's only a machine drawing -- just put it next to a design for a loom and -- -- -- -- -- I tell you, mine will really be more HAUNTING. Otherwise it's nothing but a machine drawing -- otherwise, apart from a je ne sais quoi. And -- putting my study next to a drawing by a mechanical engineer -- who had drawn a design for a loom -- mine would more clearly express that the thing's made of oak begrimed by sweaty hands, and would every now and then, when you looked at it (even if I absolutely did not draw him in, or even if I drew him out of proportion), every now and then you couldn't help thinking of the workman, whereas absolutely no ideas of this kind would occur to you looking at the design for a loom by a mechanical engineer. A sort of sigh or lament must sometimes come out of all that clutter of the slats." (ibid.; emphasis in original.)

Even Vincent seems to realize how lame this justification sounds, because later in the same letter, he appears to concede Van Rappard's basic point: "I completely understand your idea that, were it to be a drawing ... then the black apparition in the background must become the centre, the starting-point, the heart, and the most felt, worked up -- the rest kept subordinate to it" (ibid.; emphasis in original). Despite the apparent convenience and inadequacy of Vincent's argument (in fact, he never could draw a figure in correct proportion, especially not in the complex perspectival context of a loom), subsequent commentators have reported it seriously (e.g., Van Heugten, p. 52). Druick and Zegers go so far as to suggest that Vincent is invoking "Carlyle's idea that each age requires a new dialect (like new clothes), comprehensible owing to its sincerity and freedom from convention" (Druick and Zegers, p. 34).

In our opinion, it does not diminish Vincent's ultimate achievement to recognize that his artistic choices were sometimes made out of necessity -- i.e., for lack of certain abilities -- assuming they were choices at all. There is no doubt that if Vincent could have drawn these weavers with the same academic skill as Breton, for instance, or even as Van Rappard, he certainly would have done so. 

Context:
BVG 363a, 4/1/1884-4/15/1884: "Studio immediately adjoining coal hole, sewers and dung pit, and my imagination is not strong enough to see this an advance on last year's situation."
JLB 440, 3/20/1884: "The one I have at present has the following geographical location, and my powers of imagination aren't strong enough to think this an improvement on the situation last year" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 448, 5/29/1884: "Since you left I've been working on a Water mill -- the one I asked about in that little inn at the station."

Context:
JLB 448, 5/29/1884: "Since you left I've been working on a Water mill -- the one I asked about in that little inn at the station, where we sat talking with that man whom I told you seemed to suffer from a chronic shortage of small change in his pocket."

Context:
BVG 383, 10/15/1884-10/31/1884: "But both he and I are very interested in the present-day trends."
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "But both he and I are greatly interested in what the present aim is."

This speculation seems misguided on several counts. First, while Vincent did tell Theo about his "decision" not to live with Sien in early January, he specifically instructed his brother not to tell their father about this decision, suggesting that he intended to continue to use the possibility of marriage or co-habitation to torment his parents (JLB 419, 1/4/1884). Nor did Vincent agree to stop supporting Sien and her family -- or offer any new willingness to do so. Second, as discussed in this chapter, the relationship with Margot Begemann was not the wholesome alternative Hulsker depicts, nor did Margot herself live up to his Victorian vision of ideal womanhood. The evidence indicates that her feelings for Vincent were unsolicited, abnormally intense, and entirely unreciprocated -- suggesting at least emotional fragility, and perhaps mental instability. Vincent did not mention her in his letters to Theo at all until she attempted suicide in September 1884, nine months after Vincent fell silent on Sien (JLB 456, 9/16/1884). Finally, Hulsker cites Vincent's comment that Sien's "character ... had been dragged through the gutter" in order to suggest that Margot looked good to him by comparison (JLB 379, 8/23/1883-8/29/1883). But, in fact, Vincent meant that description in a positive, sympathetic way. Indeed, Sien's sordid background was key to Vincent's attraction to her and to the fantasy of rescue that their relationship allowed him to play out. In the past, Sien's backsliding only intensified his feelings for her, rekindling his determination to "save" her. Thus, it seems highly unlikely that their breakup was due to some new transgression on her part. We suspect that Hulsker's hypothesis is colored by class distinctions: i.e., that, in Margot, Vincent finally found a woman appropriate to his family's social standing in the community. For the same reason, perhaps, Hulsker fails to address an additional possible factor in the disappearance of Sien: that Vincent found a new fantasy -- to live among the peasants of Zola's La Terre -- as well as a new woman to accompany that fantasy, Gordina DeGroot, as discussed elsewhere in this chapter and the next.

Although Vincent never mentioned Sien by name again, or even directly referred to her, there are a handful of glancing invocations in the letters from 1884 that seem to be prompted not by nostalgia for his time with her, but renewed resentment at Theo's interference in his life (which supports our reading of a reason for both her persistent presence and her sudden disappearance from his life). In March, complaining about Theo's control of his purse strings, Vincent used the obvious example: "if I do this or that with a woman, for instance, that you and others don't approve of (perhaps rightly disapprove of, but sometimes I don't give a damn about that), there comes one of those little tugs on the purse-strings just to make me feel that it's 'in my interest' to go along with your opinion" (JLB 432, 3/2/1884). (Note the tiny whiplash of ambivalence in "perhaps rightly" followed immediately by the canceling-out of "I don't give a damn about that.") A few days later, he wrote: "Do you think that Millet would have become Millet if he'd lived childless and without a wife?" (JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884). In May, he wrote: "Perhaps -- in a while -- I'll agree with you that my position has improved because of the change last year, and that that change was good. It will always be a sadness to me, though, that I had to give something up then that I'd have liked to pursue further at the time." (JLB 446, 5/12/1884-5/15/1884; emphasis in original.) In October, Vincent threatened to return to The Hague ("in the winter, perhaps as early as next month, I'm going away from here for a while -- I've thought about Antwerp -- I've thought about The Hague" [JLB 465, 10/9/1884]), but this may or may not have been an effort to summon the ghost of Sien -- or at least the ghost of Theo's fear of Sien. 

Context:
BVG 358, 3/1/1884: "Apart from a few years which I can scarcely comprehend myself, when I was confused by religious ideas, by some kind of mysticism -- that period aside, I have always lived with a certain warmth. Now everything is getting grimmer and colder and more dreary around me. And when I tell you that in the first place I will not stand it, quite apart from the question of whether or not I can, I am referring to what I told you at the very beginning of our relationship."
JLB 432, 3/2/1884: "Apart from a few years which I find hard to understand myself, when I was confused by religious ideas -- by a sort of mysticism -- leaving aside that period, I've always lived with a certain warmth. Now it's all becoming bleaker and colder and duller around me. And when I tell you that in the first place I WILL not stand it like this, never mind whether or not I can, I refer to what I said right at the very beginning of our relationship." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884: "What we were taught about them [women] in our youth is quite wrong, that's certain -- had nothing to do with real life at all. And if one has to see to it that one learns something by experience, it would be mightily pleasant if one was good and the world was good &c. -- yes indeed -- but it seems to me that one increasingly comes to realize that we ourselves are as bad as the world in general -- of which we are a speck of dust -- and the world as bad as we are -- whether one does one's very best or acts more indifferently, it always becomes something else -- works out differently -- from what one actually wanted."

Context:
BVG 359, 3/9/1884: "Of myself I believe -- and I think it possible that it is the same with you -- that I have not yet had enough experience with women."
JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884: "As to myself, I believe -- and consider it possible that to some extent it might also be the same with you -- that I haven't yet had enough experience with women."

Context:
JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884: "… one does one's very best or acts more indifferently, it always becomes something else -- works out differently -- from what one actually wanted. But whether it turns out better or worse, happier or unhappier, doing something is better than doing nothing. Well, provided one takes care, as Uncle Vincent says -- that one doesn't grow up into a stiff, self-righteous stick -- one may even be as good as one wishes." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 359, 3/9/1884: "If only one is wary of becoming a prim, self-righteous prig -- as Uncle Vincent calls it -- one may be even as good as one likes."
JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884: "Well, provided one takes care, as Uncle Vincent says -- that one doesn't grow up into a stiff, self-righteous stick -- one may even be as good as one wishes" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 428, 2/3/1884: "If you would, write to me in rather greater detail about the Manet exhibition, tell me which of his paintings are to be seen. I've always found Manet's work very original. Do you know Zola's piece on Manet? I regret that I've only seen very few paintings by him. I would particularly like to see his female nudes."

Vincent introduces his ruminations on this "Arabian fable" by saying, "I liked the idea, and I believe it can be thus" (emphasis in original). He then proceeds to this very odd, opaque exegesis: "Viewed thus, men don't play a very noble role -- well, but that is in fact the case. It doesn't apply in general, though, because ... does the candle burn for the sake of the moth? If one knew that -- well then -- it might well be worthwhile committing suicide that way." (JLB 433, 3/2/1884; emphasis original.) Vincent adds a brief analysis that appears to layer sexual fantasies onto De Lesseps's simple little fable: "And -- I always believe that in the depths there are these things -- that would rend our hearts if we knew them. There are moments when one is wholly disenchanted with people -- one's own self included, of course -- yet -- chiefly because one will perish soon enough, after all, it really isn't worthwhile persisting in one's displeasure, even if it were well-founded." (ibid.) Vincent seems to have found in the De Lesseps's article an excuse to explore some of his own atavistic sexual impulses -- although, of course, none are described in the letter. As in all Vincent's letters to Van Rappard (and later to Bernard), sexual references are coyly suggestive -- an incentive to the next visit. Vincent may also have been conflating De Lesseps's fable with ideas about exotic "oriental" eroticism taken from other sources. 

Context:
BVG R41, 3/1/1884: "I am adding to [François] Coppée's poems an Arabian fable that I found this week in an article by De Lesseps, 'Voyage dans le Soudan.'"
JLB 433, 3/2/1884: "With these poems by Coppée I'm adding an Arabian fable that I found this week in a piece by Lesseps, Voyage dans le Soudan."

Context:
JLB 433, 3/2/1884: "With these poems by Coppée I'm adding an Arabian fable that I found this week in a piece by Lesseps, Voyage dans le Soudan. I liked the idea, and I believe it can be thus. Viewed thus, men don't play a very noble role -- well, but that is in fact the case. It doesn't apply in general, though, because … does the candle burn for the sake of the moth? If one knew that -- well then -- it might well be worthwhile committing suicide that way."

Context:
JLB 448, 5/29/1884: "And to have repeated it yet again recently, specifically in our conversation on that Friday when I said to you, 'I found something in the colour of that painting, the Woman spinning, that seems to me better and more solid than what I've seen you paint here'" (emphasis in original).

BVG R40, 2/25/1884. Vincent informs Van Rappard of this purchase in a "P.S." on the back of the envelope: "I've also got hold of a spinning wheel here [spinnewiel magtig]" (JLB 431, 2/26/1884; emphasis in original). Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop take the literature to task for not properly distinguishing between spinning and winding (or spooling) (Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop, p. 117). Spinning wheels, which were used to spin fiber into threads, had fallen out of common usage by the time Vincent arrived in Nuenen, at least in relation to the weaving process. Cottage weavers used machine-made yarn provided to them by the middlemen who took their finished cloth to market. Bobbin winders, on the other hand, were commonly used in the weaving process to wind the yarn onto reels and thence onto spools for the bobbin and the loom. Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop claim that Vincent "certainly knew the difference" between spinning and winding and therefore this announcement in February must refer to a spinning wheel, not a bobbin winder (ibid.). Thus, the painting that Vincent made of a bobbin winder (Bobbin Winder [F 175 JH 497]) could not be this device. We think a better guide to what Vincent was describing can be found in the works of Anton Van Rappard that Vincent saw around this time and that clearly inspired his images of women working at these devices.

The work that Vincent saw in his friend's studio in December 1883, and that went on to win a silver medal at an exhibition in London in May the following year, apparently depicted an old woman at a spinning wheel. (According to De Brouwer, however, it is not certain which painting Vincent refers to in JLB 448, 5/29/1884 [De Brouwer, p. 86].) But the work that Van Rappard painted while visiting Vincent in Nuenen in May 1884 shows a woman at a yarn winder (ibid., p. 87). This is almost certainly the "spinnewiel magtig" that Vincent announced buying in February. Vincent drew and painted virtually the same scene at the same time (Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1137 JH 493], Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1139 JH 494], Woman Reeling Yarn [F 68 JH 495], and Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1136 JH 496]). The multiplicity of the images suggests the controlled environment of the studio. At the same time, Vincent wrote about painting "a seated girl winding shuttles for the weavers" (JLB 439, 3/18/1884). We think it is likely that, although Van Rappard and Vincent may have known the difference between a spinner and a winder, they did not take great care in differentiating between them in their terminology. (Vincent had drawn and painted weavers for a month or two by the time he bought his "spinning wheel," but in those works, too, he exhibited a lax attitude toward the functioning of the looms.)

Vincent's student Anton Kerssemakers's description of Vincent's studio from the winter of 1884-85 refers to a "spinning wheel," but surely the bourgeois businessman Kerssemakers knew even less about such equipment than Vincent or Van Rappard. Even Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop acknowledge that spinners and winders were "similar in appearance," and, indeed, the former were sometimes converted into the latter (Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop, pp. 126-127). Although the device that Vincent depicts in Bobbin Winder (F 175 JH 497) certainly fits the description "magtig" (literally, "mighty") that first introduces the "spinning wheel" that he bought in February, it is clearly not the same device earlier depicted by both Van Rappard and Vincent. Finally, Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop note that no images of spinning wheels have survived in Vincent's oeuvre (although several are revealed by x-radiology), and that bobbin winders are nowhere mentioned in the letters (Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop, p. 126), while numerous images of bobbin winders have come down or are documented in the literature (ibid., p. 117). This all points to a confusion, or at least a disregard, on Vincent's part about what to call the device that sat in the middle of his studio. For these reasons, we have used his term, "spinning wheel," to refer to the device or devices that Vincent depicts and the term "spinning" to refer to all the activities conducted thereat. 

Context:
JLB 431, 2/26/1884: "P.S.: I've also got hold of a spinning wheel here" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 444, April 1884: "Van Rappard had a couple of paintings that he saw a chance of finishing with a model that he could get, and has now written to me that he's coming in May instead of right away."

Context:
JLB 442, 3/24/1884: "Why I have to know this is because, if I can count on it, I would take a slightly roomier studio somewhere, which I need in order to be able to work with a model."

Context:
BVG 363a, 4/1/1884-4/15/1884: "The reason why I have to know this is that, if I can definitely count on it, I shall get a more spacious apology of a studio somewhere, a studio I need in order to work from the model."
JLB 442, 3/24/1884: "Why I have to know this is because, if I can count on it, I would take a slightly roomier studio somewhere, which I need in order to be able to work with a model."

Context:
JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884: "… whether one does one's very best or acts more indifferently, it always becomes something else -- works out differently -- from what one actually wanted."

Context:
BVG 369, 5/15/1884-5/31/1884: "I am very much pleased with the new studio, it is large and quite dry."
JLB 447, 5/28/1884: "I'm very pleased with the new studio; it's roomier and good and dry."

Context:
JLB 447, 5/28/1884: "I hope to hear from you soon, I've had rather a lot of expenses because of the new studio."

Context:
JLB 446, 5/12/1884-5/15/1884: "I now have the space again to be able to work with a model. And as to how long it will last, there's no telling."

Context:
BVG 411, 6/1/1885-6/15/1885: "But painting becomes stimulating and exciting to me, like hunting -- in fact it is a hunt for models and beautiful spots."
JLB 507, 6/9/1885: "But for me painting is now becoming as stimulating and enticing as hunting -- it is a hunt, after all, for models, and beautiful places too" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 383, 10/15/1884-10/31/1884: "Recently Van Rappard and I have made long excursions, and visited house after house; we have seen the most beautiful things, just because of the splendid autumn effects. And we have also discovered new models."
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "The last few days R. and I have been on some long excursions, and visited people house by house -- we've seen lots of beautiful things, just because of the magnificent autumnal effects. And also discovered new models."

Context:
BVG 382, 10/22/1884: "And as to my work, every day I become keener on it, and I get back my high spirits, as if I were twenty."
JLB 466, 10/22/1884: "And as to my work, I become keener on it by the day, and I'm regaining my high spirits as if I were 20" (emphasis in original).

Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop are cautious about identifying sitters, positively associating Gordina with only The Potato Eaters and one other painting (Head of a Woman [F 130 JH 692]), and finding "some resemblance" in three others (Head of a Woman [F 69 JH 724], Head of a Woman [F 269r JH 725], and Head of a Woman [F 160 JH 722]) (Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop, p. 86). Knowing Vincent's preference for painting the same models repeatedly, knowing that he had an affair with Gordina, knowing that therefore depictions of Gordina were more likely to survive, discounting for Vincent's erratic rendering, and applying more common notions of "resemblance", we see Gordina in a large number of paintings and drawings: Head of a Woman (F 1176 JH 549), Head of a Woman (F 156 JH 569), Head of a Woman (F 1171 JH 570), Head of a Peasant Woman with Dark Cap (F 137 JH 593), Head of a Peasant Woman with Dark Cap (F 1184 JH 597), Head of a Peasant Woman with Dark Cap (F 138 JH 644), Peasant Woman, Head (F 1175 JH 645), Seated Woman (F 1189 JH 677), Gordina de Groot, Head (F 1668 JH 691), Head of a Woman (F 130 JH 692), Head of a Peasant Woman with White Cap (F 85 JH 693), Head of a Peasant Woman with White Cap (F 85a JH 694), Head of a Woman (F 70a JH 716), Head of a Woman (F 160 JH 722), Head of a Woman (F 69 JH 724), Head of a Peasant Woman with White Cap (F 140 JH 745), Gordina de Groot, Head (F 141 JH 783), Gordina de Groot, Head (F 409 JH 784), and Woman with a Mourning Shawl (F 161 JH 788). For reasons discussed in the next chapter (Ch. 23, n. 189), we believe Van Rappard, not Vincent, drew Gordina in Head of a Woman (F 1184 JH 597). 

Context:
BVG W1, 6/21/1887-12/21/1887: "Did Sien de Groot marry her cousin?"
JLB 574, October 1887: "Did Sien de Groot marry her cousin?"

By the time he reached Drenthe, this version of himself had been reinforced by his reading of Zola's Mes haines. "Zola says -- I, an artist, I want to live life to the full -- want to live without ulterior motive -- naive as a child, no not as a child, as an artist -- with good will, just as life unfolds, so I'll find something in it, so I'll do my best in it" (JLB 400, 10/28/1883, emphasis original). This is another self-portrait stunning in its inaptness. As to Vincent's use of the phrase "la joie de vivre" in the instant passage, he was surely aware of the implied reference to Zola's novel of the same name which was published in 1884, even though he does not explicitly invoke it. It is generally assumed in the literature, inevitably, that he read the book around this time. (See Van Tilborgh and Vellekoop, p. 223, n. 8.) (Six months later, in October 1885, a well-thumbed copy of the book appears in Vincent's painting, Still Life with Open Bible [F 117 JH 946].) Vincent also included La joie de vivre in a list of Zola's "masterpieces" in a letter to his sister Wil in 1887 (JLB 574, October 1887). As Kôdera points out, several later uses of the phrase (JLB 644, 7/17/1888-7/20/1888; JLB 780, 6/16/1889) are lost in English translations (Kôdera, pp. 78-79). It is worth noting that Vincent's other sister, Lies, used the phrase in a letter to Theo in 1879, long before Zola's novel appeared, suggesting that it was a term of some currency in the Van Gogh family already by 1884: "For you don't have to tell me that you are exactly in high spirits when you suffer from a cold and the joie de vivre finds itself on a low level" (b2462 V/1982, "Gogh, Elisabeth van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 2/21/1879). 

Context:
BVG 399, 4/11/188: "But it seems to me right after all to keep the enthusiasm of those days in the present time, for it is often true that fortune favours the bold, and whatever may be true about fortune or 'la joie(?) de vivre,' as it is called, one must work and dare if one really wants to live."
JLB 492, 4/9/1885: "But maintaining the enthusiasm of those days at this time is nonetheless advisable, it seems to me, because it's often true that fortune favours the bold, and be this as it may -- about fortune or 'la joie (?) de vivre', that is -- one must work and be bold if one really wants to live" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 434, 3/5/1884-3/9/1884: "But whether it turns out better or worse, happier or unhappier, doing something is better than doing nothing" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: " Many people think that they will become good just by doing no harm -- but that's a lie, and you yourself used to call it that. That way lies stagnation, mediocrity."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: " To be good -- many people think that they'll achieve it by doing no harm -- and that's a lie, and you said yourself in the past that it was a lie."

Context:
BVG 331, 10/6/1883-10/7/1883: "Personal activity, personal energy, Tersteeg has it, you have it, and at the same time you have a position; but in case of a change, it might not be of any use to you, and you would hurt yourself everywhere against 'triomphe de la médiocrité, de la nullité, de l'absurdité.'"
JLB 393, 10/7/1883: "But in the case of change, be aware that it could be that you get nothing out of it, and may everywhere come up against the 'triumph of mediocrity, of nullity, of absurdity'" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 286, 11/24/1882: "He's far better than most people, in many respects, but you won't find him satisfactory any more than I do, and I sense an emptiness in him."

Context:
BVG 247, 11/24/1882: "He -- Octave Mouret -- is satisfied when he can readily sell his bales of 'nouveautés' (déballer des ballots de marchandises sur les trottoirs de Paris) [unloading his bales of goods on the sidewalks of Paris] he doesn't seem to have any other aspiration except the conquest of women, and yet he does not really love them, for Zola perceives correctly, I think, when he says, 'où percait son mépris pour la femme' [where his contempt for women broke through]."
JLB 286, 11/24/1882: "He -- O. Mouret -- is happy as long as he can sell his bales of novelties quickly (display his bales of goods on the pavements of Paris); he appears to have no other aspirations, except for conquests of women, and yet he wasn't really fond of them, for Zola is right I believe when he says, 'where his contempt for the female was apparent.'"

Context:
JLB 286, 11/24/1882: "… you and I can and must in my view. After all, we have our roots in a family life of a different kind from Mouret's, and moreover there will always be something of the Brabant fields and heath in us I hope, which is all the less erasable by years of city life because art renews and adds to it."

Context:
BVG 247, 11/24/1882: "He seems to be a product of his time -- in reality more passive than active, notwithstanding his activity."
JLB 286, 11/24/1882: "He seems to me to be a product of the time, actually more passive than active -- despite his activity."

Context:
BVG 333, 10/16/1883: "You once said to me, 'I am like that man in Pot-Bouille'; I said, 'No. If you were like that, you would do well to enter a new business; but you are deeper than he, and I do not know whether you are really a man of business; actually I see the artist in you at heart, the true artist.'"
JLB 397, 10/16/1883: "You once said to me, 'I'm something like that character in Pot-bouille' -- I said, no. If you were that you would do well to go into a new business, but you're deeper than him and I don't know whether at bottom you are a man of business -- at the very deepest depths I see in you the artist, the true artist.'"

BVG 378, 10/1/1884. After the disparaging reference in Drenthe (JLB 397, 10/16/1883), Vincent does not mention Mouret until September 1884 (JLB 458, 9/21/1884) and doesn't mention Au bonheur des dames specifically until October: "You say you like Octave Mouret, you said you're like him. Since last year I've also read the second volume, in which he pleases me much more than in the first" (JLB 464, 10/2/1884, emphasis original). It is not clear from this ("Since last year"), however, exactly when during the intervening year he read Au bonheur des dames, which was published in 1883. He may have first read it in book form or in serialized form. A copy of the book appears in a painting from spring 1887, Three Novels (Still Life with Three Books [F 335 JH 1226]). 

Context:
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "You say you like Octave Mouret, you said you're like him. Since last year I've also read the second volume, in which he pleases me much more than in the first." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "I've read the second volume too, since last year, and like him much better in that than I did in the first."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Since last year I've also read the second volume, in which he pleases me much more than in the first."

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "But they will not easily despise the man who did it, while they do despise the men who have extinguished the manliness in themselves."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "Yet they won't readily despise the man who did it. And they do despise the men who have extinguished the manliness in themselves." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "Mouret did not seem to understand immediately, but when he remembered their earlier conversation about the empty stupidity and the pointless torture of life, he replied, 'Of course--I have never lived so intensely ... Ah! old fellow, don't scoff! The hours when one dies of suffering are shortest.'"
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Mouret seemed not to understand immediately. But, when he recalled their old conversations about empty foolishness and the pointless torment of life, he replied: 'No doubt -- never have I lived so much ... Ah! old chap -- don't mock! Those are the shortest hours in which one dies of suffering!'" (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "'You don't understand this language, old fellow; otherwise you would know that action is its own reward -- to act, to create. To fight against the facts, to conquer them or be conquered by them, therein lies all human health and happiness!'"
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "'You don't understand this language, old chap; otherwise, you'd know that action contains its reward within itself -- to act -- to create -- to struggle against facts, vanquish them or be vanquished by them, all human joy and health are there!'" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "Mourier says: 'If you think yourself strong because you refuse to be stupid and to suffer, well, then you are just a fool, that's all. Are you enjoying yourself?'"
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Mouret says: 'If you believe yourself strong, because you refuse to be foolish and to suffer! Ah, well -- then you are nothing but a dupe, no more! Are you enjoying yourself?'"

Context:
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "If you aren't an artist in painting, be an artist as a dealer, just like Mouret" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 379, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "For your sake as well as mine, and for the sake of many others, I wish that we had Mourets in the art trade, who would know how to create a new and larger buying public."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "For your sake and mine and for many others, I wish that we could get Mourets in the art trade who knew how to create a broader, new buying public" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 379, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: " If you are no artist in painting then try to be an artist as a dealer like Mouret."
JLB 461, 9/22/1884-9/28/1884: " If you aren't an artist in painting, be an artist as a dealer, just like Mouret" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "' I want her, I will have her ... and -- if she escapes me then you'll see what I do to be cured of it all.'"
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "' I want her, I'll have her! ... and -- if she escapes me you'll see the things that I'll do to cure myself of it'" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 414, 12/15/1883: "For instance -- at this moment you still have a manly fear of mediocrity in the bad sense of the word."

Context:
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Look at this from Octave Mouret … "

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "But anyway, do read your Mouret again."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "But anyway -- just read your Mouret again."

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "Mouret says, 'Chez nous on aime la clientèle.' [At our place we love the clients.]"
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Mouret says, ' in our establishment, we love the customer'" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "I mentioned a difference between Mouret and what I should want, and yet the parallels. Look here. Mouret worships the modern Parisian woman -- very well."

Context:
BVG 410, 6/1/1885: "Live like a beast, having no possessions of his own, flattening the corn with the ugliest, dirtiest female coal trammer, and being able to find contentment in it."
JLB 506, 6/2/1885: "Ah! to live like a beast, to possess nothing of one's own, to flatten the corn with the ugliest, dirtiest female coal-pit drawer, and to be able to be happy with that."

Context:
BVG 379, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "I want to have a lot of work to do -- believe me -- and I don't intend to be bored -- do a great deal or drop dead."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "I want to have a lot of work -- believe me -- I have no intention of being bored -- do a great deal or die" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 447, 5/28/1884: "I've done nothing but paint recently."

BVG 371, 6/1/1884-6/15/1884: In addition to more depictions of weavers, which Vincent continued to insist were commercial subjects, he painted peasant girls at the spinning wheel in his studio. (Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1137 JH 493], Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1139 JH 494], Woman Reeling Yarn [F 68 JH 495], and Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1136 JH 496]). Interestingly, he de-emphasized to Theo that his subjects were primarily women. (He mentions "a little old man at the bobbin winder" [JLB 449, 6/6/1884] and " a large male figure" [JLB 450, June 1884].) It is true that Theo visited in early June and probably saw Vincent's paintings of women spinning. Vincent writes after the visit (again, not mentioning the women models): "Perhaps you remember two studies of the same corner, which I already had in the studio when you were here" (JLB 450, June 1884). The next month, July, Vincent did offer to make another "little woman spinning" for a frame Theo had (JLB 451, 7/2/1884). Vincent also withheld from Theo the crucial fact that Van Rappard had won a silver medal at the Universal Exhibition in London in May 1884 for his painting of a woman spinning. 

Context:
JLB 450, June 1884: "I think I already told you in my last letter that I also wanted to start a large male figure as well as that woman spinning."

Context:
JLB 452, 7/20/1884: "And have also been working again on the old tower in the fields in the evening; I've made a larger study of it than my previous ones -- with the wheatfields around it."

BVG 374, 8/1/1884-8/15/1884: Vincent does not say he painted such scenes, only that he saw them. Nevertheless, from a period in which much of Vincent's ouevre appears not to have survived, two painted sunsets did survive: The Old Tower in the Fields (F 40 JH 507) and Avenue of Poplars at Sunset (F 123 JH 518). 

Context:
BVG 374, 8/1/1884-8/15/1884: "I have seen splendid sunsets over the fields of stubble."
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "I've seen magnificent sunsets over the stubble fields."

BVG 382, 10/22/1884: Vincent writes this during Van Rappard's visit in October. Vincent painted Avenue of Poplars in Autumn (F 122 JH 522), Lane of Poplars, right about this time. Other similar paintings of the chûte des feuilles include Avenue of Poplars at Sunset (F 123 JH 518), Lane in Autumn (F 120 JH 519), and Lane of Poplars (F 1246 JH 520). 

Context:
BVG 382, 10/22/1884: "It is extraordinarily beautiful here at present, with the autumn effects. In a fortnight's time we shall have the real chûte des feuilles [fall of leaves] when all the leaves on the trees fall off in a few days."
JLB 466, 10/22/1884: "It's extraordinarily beautiful here at the moment with the autumnal effects. In a fortnight we'll have the real fall of the leaves -- when everything that's on the trees falls in a few days."

BVG 387, 11/10/1884-11/20/1884. Surviving examples are Water Mill at Gennep (F 1144a JH 523), Water Mill at Gennep (F 46 JH 524), Water Mill at Gennep (F 125 JH 525), and Water Mill at Gennep (F 47 JH 526), all of the water mill at Gennep; and Water Mill at Opwetten (F 48 JH 527), of the water mill at Opwetten. 

Context:
JLB 471, 11/24/1884: "I'm also working on a watercolour of the water mill."

Context:
JLB 461, 9/22/1884-9/28/1884: "But if no Mourets come [as dealers] -- then -- perhaps the trade should change utterly because the painters themselves revived it and started their own permanent exhibitions without the old intermediary."

Vincent did share his plans for Antwerp with his associates in Eindhoven, like Anton Hermans: "After all, Hermans has definitely promised me that he'll pay for a trip for me somewhere, but with a return. If I should want to go to Antwerp, I can hold him to his word." (JLB 470, 11/17/1884, emphasis original.) And Anton Kerssemakers: "He had already let it be known more than once that he wanted to leave, ... But finally he came to announce his departure for Antwerp." (Kerssemakers, n.p., in Stein, p. 54) In an undated letter to Kerssemakers from around this time, Vincent writes: "I am very glad that you have been in Antwerp and have seen some good pictures. I do hope it will prove possible that we may go there together this summer [1885]." (Hulsker, "Vincent's Letters to Anton Kerssemakers," p. 20.) 

Context:
BVG 386, 11/10/1884-11/30/1884: "If I want to go to Antwerp, ... this winter I will manage to try to get some connections there, though that may not succeed all at once either."
JLB 470, 11/17/1884: " If I should want to go to Antwerp, ... in the winter I'll see about making an attempt to get some contacts there -- although that, too, won't succeed the first time" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 382, 10/22/1884: "And perhaps you are right, that I had better find my own way for my work, and in short, become my own dealer."
JLB 466, 10/22/1884: "And perhaps you're right that I should just find a way for my work myself, and become my own dealer."

Apparently, the only paintings he photographed were some weavers (JLB 463, 9/30/1884; JLB 465, 10/9/1884; JLB 467, 10/25/1884) and two of the six oil-sketch cartoons he made for decorative panels in the home of Antoon Hermans, a retired goldsmith in Eindhoven (see later in this chapter) (JLB 463, 9/30/1884) He made photographs in several sizes, including the smaller "cartes-de-visite" size (JLB 463, 9/30/1884). (The latter are no doubt the two " smaller photos of the studies of which you already have the larger ones" enclosed in JLB 467, 10/28/1884.) He reports an intention to photograph others of his works, including the other four decorative panel designs for Hermans, but in later letters he sends only sketches (JLB 465, 10/9/1884). 

Context:
BVG 380, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "I intended to send them to some illustrated papers, to try to get some work, or at least to become known."
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "I was planning to send them to a few illustrated magazines to see if I could get work, or at least become known."

Vincent did apparently recount to his student some of Mauve's criticisms of him: "According to [Vincent's] explanation, Mauve once commented that he used his fingers too much in painting, whereupon he had become angry and had snapped at Mauve, 'What does it matter, even if I do it with my heels, as long as it is good and it works'" (ibid.). A letter from Kerssemakers to Plasschaert written in 1912 suggests how impressed Kerssemakers and his fellow members of the provincial artistic community in Eindhoven were by Vincent's past association with Mauve, and perhaps how Vincent exploited that connection (b3038 V/1982, ''Kerssemakers, Anton'' to ''Plasschaert, A.'', 8/27/1912). Kerssemakers recalls a visit by Anton van Rappard (whom he calls by his honorific "Ridder van Rappart") to Nuenen in October 1884, and assumes that Vincent "knew him from earlier days (perhaps from Mauve)." 

This is one of the clearest examples of Vincent justifying himself and his own art -- working out his own demons -- through his teaching. For that reason, we think Tralbaut's tribute to Vincent's skills as a teacher ("Vincent's activities as a teacher are not as well known as they should be. He took his teaching seriously, and his pupils made good progress" [Tralbaut, p.137]), is misplaced. Vincent had none of the empathy, patience, or flexibility required to be a good teacher, and a close reading of even the most favorable accounts -- all, no doubt, softened by Vincent's subsequent fame -- leaves the unmistakable impression of a pre-occupied, tyrannical introvert, with only occasional flashes of connectivity. 

The contacts between Vincent and Gestel's parents must have gone deeper than that. However, the following year, Vincent made lithographic impressions at "a label factory" in Eindhoven, according to the recollections of another student, Anthon Kerssemakers (Kerssemakers, "Reminiscences of Vincent van Gogh," in Stein, ed., pp 54-55). According to Van Heugten, this refers to the Gestel shop and the lithograph was "The Potato Eaters" (Van Heugten, p. 15). If, as discussed in Ch. 22, n. 131, Gestel did not meet Vincent until the summer of 1885, then Vincent could have seen Gestel's work when he came to the family printing shop to make the lithograph of "The Potato Eaters" in April 1885 (JLB 493, 4/13/1885). This would make more sense of Gestel's recollection that, when he first went to Vincent's studio in Nuenen, he was accompanied by his brother and "our lithographer" (De Brouwer, p. 119). 

However, Van Heugten seizes on a reference in Gestel's account to Vincent's use of a "royal-size sheet of paper" for peasant studies to argue that "Gestel's visit must have taken place in the last few months of Van Gogh's stay in Nuenen," i.e., mid- to late summer 1885, because that is when Vincent did a series of large studies of figures working in the fields (Peasant Woman Digging [F 1255 JH 826], Peasant Woman Lifting Potatoes [F 1251 JH 841], Peasant Woman Digging [F 1250 JH 842], Digger [F 1305 JH 849], Digger [F 1310 JH 852], Reaper [F 1319r JH 857], Reaper [F1316 JH 858], Digger in a Potato Field: February [F 1302 JH 859], Peasant Lifting Beet [F 1303 JH 860], Reaper [F 1317 JH 863], Reaper [F 1318 JH 866], Peasant Woman Binding Sheaves [F 1266 JH 868], and Peasant with a Fork [F 1321v JH 885]) (Van Heugten, p. 15).

In fact, Gestel's account is muddled on a variety of issues, including the timing and frequency of his visits to Vincent's studio and, indeed, of their interactions in general. Elsewhere, he tells Stokvis that Vincent effectively barred him from his studio in the last months of his stay in Nuenen: "he worked so feverishly that he did not spare a single hour for his friends. 'My studio is open to you,' he wrote to Mr. Gestel, 'but you mustn't expect me to entertain you; I have no time.'" (Stokvis, p. 37.) Although Van Heugten maintains that Gestel only "took a few painting lessons from Van Gogh" and appears to assume only a single visit to the studio (Van Heugten, p. 15), Gestel's account to Stokvis suggests far more interaction ("Mr. Gestel repeatedly visited Vincent in Nuenen" [Stokvis, p. 37]), and it is certainly possible that the relationship carried over to the following summer when, according to Gestel's account, Vincent became more preoccupied with his own work. (Gestel spent the fall and winter at school in Amsterdam.)

Gestel's recollection of Vincent using large paper on his "first" visit could represent a conflation of multiple visits. Indeed, Vincent drew peasants relentlessly throughout both summers, and the reference to "royal-size" sheets of paper could refer to large preparatory sketches for the (large) Hermans murals that have not survived. If Gestel did not come to Vincent's studio for the first time until the summer of 1885, then the question becomes who was the third of the "3 people in Eindhoven" that Vincent claims as students as of November 1884 -- assuming that one was Hermans, one was Van der Wakker, and that Vincent did not meet Kerssemakers until later in November (JLB 469, 11/14/1884; emphasis in original). (See Ch. 22, n. 121.) 

In December, Vincent makes a statement that might reveal more than he intended: " I have to be here for a time for my painting -- then -- as soon as I've conquered that more definitely, I'll be happy to go anywhere I can earn the same as I now have here" (JLB 476, 12/16/1884, emphasis in original, italicized, and emphasis added, italicized and bolded). Given that he has not sold a painting, this may be an unguarded reference to unreported income from teaching (if he were referring to the money Theo sent him, there would be no question about it continuing elsewhere). According to an account given by Vincent's student Kerssemakers, Anton Hermans "paid [Vincent] with paint supplies, and sometimes by paying Vincent's debt at Baijens's store" (Vermeeren, n.p.); and Vincent himself admits that Hermans offered to "pay for a trip for me somewhere" (JLB 470, 11/17/1884). Both of these go beyond the terms of the arrangement Vincent first purports to Theo. Another student, Willem van der Wakker, recalled that he inquired about Vincent's "financial worries" (De Brouwer, p. 118) and "wished to help him" (Tralbaut, pp. 144-145). Of his acquaintances, Kerssemakers and Hermans were especially well-situated to help Vincent with money (for example, by paying his debts). 

Like many of Van der Wakker's anecdotes, this one clanks with inauthenticity. In general, his seem to be the most improbably and unreliably ornamented of all the accounts given by Vincent's painting students in the early 1900s in the first wave of Van Gogh hagiography. However, there are enough other indications in Van der Wakker's account to support the relatively obvious inference that Vincent practiced the same habits of comradeship on the young telegrapher as he had on both Theo and Van Rappard. For example, he shared his enthusiasms in reading ("He was a colossal literator," Van der Wakker reported), he recommended the same instructional books on painting (e.g., Karl Robert, Traité pratique de peinture à l'huile), he gave Van der Wakker "a great number of drawings and paintings as presents," and he did not share his personal problems: "Just as he generally talked little about himself with others, he never talked much about this [disputes with his father] and he used to content himself with articulating the telling words: 'My father is a respectable clergyman.'" (ibid.) 

Context:
JLB 470, 11/17/1884: "He's a tanner who has time and money, and is about 40."

Context:
JLB 469, 11/14/1884: "I now have 3 people in Eindhoven who want to learn to paint and whom I'm teaching to paint still lifes" (emphasis in original).

De Brouwer, p. 116. The surviving still lifes from the winter of 1884–85 are Still Life with Pots, Jar and Bottles (R 178r JH 528) and Vase with Honesty (F 76 JH 542). 

Context:
JLB 471, 11/24/1884: "Last week I painted still lifes day in and day out with the people who are painting in Eindhoven."

Context:
BVG 381, 10/1/1884: "As to Hermans, he is very good, and a man to remain on good terms with, and he is certainly rich, but -- has always been stingy rather than generous."
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "Well, Hermans is very good and a man to keep in with, and he's certainly rich -- but -- has always been tight-fisted rather than generous" (emphasis in original).

The appearance of goldsmiths in both Vincent's and Van Rappard's life at the same time may be coincidence or it may be yet another example of Vincent reshaping his life (and art) in imitation of his bourgeois friend. Vincent may have seen the portrait or even met Brom on his trip to Utrecht in December 1883, and Van Rappard almost certainly talked about both in his letters. There is a drawing in Vincent's sketchbook (Man with Bowler [F none JH 636]) that shows a formidable man in a bowler who roughly matches Hermans's description. It is a rare example of Vincent sketching a bourgeois gentleman and one can safely suppose some pre-existing connection with the sitter. The parallel to Van Rappard's portrait of Brom is also notable. The sketchbook is dated February 1885, whereas Vincent and Hermans had probably broken off relations by that time; but dating of individual sketches within a sketchbook is an inexact science. 

Context: JLB 454, August-September 1884: "I'll now continue about myself. This summer I saw a house in Eindhoven that belongs to a former goldsmith who is now rich, and has already amassed and sold a collection of antiques several times."

Context:
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "I have a very pleasant, congenial friend in him" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: " I have a very pleasant, congenial friend in him, and it's certainly striking to see a man of 60 doing his best to learn to paint with the same freshness of enthusiasm as if he were 20" (emphasis in original).

De Brouwer, p. 45: A drawing from Vincent's sketchbook, St. Catharina's Church at Eindhoven (F none JH 606), shows a view of the twin-towered St. Catharina. According to De Brouwer, this is the view from the rear of Hermans's house. The distance between the house and the church was approximately 500 feet. 

Vincent drew the church's characteristic towers in his sketchbook in February 1885 (St. Catharina's Church at Eindhoven [F none JH 606]). 

Context:
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "He's [Herman's] man. I want to remain on good terms with if possible -- a former goldsmith who has amassed and sold a very considerable collection of antiques no fewer than 3 times. Is now rich and has built a house that he's filled with antiques again, and furnished with some very fine oak chests &c. He decorates the ceilings and walls himself, and really well sometimes."

Context:
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "He decorates the ceilings and walls himself, and really well sometimes."

Context:
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "I have a very pleasant, congenial friend in him, and it's certainly striking to see a man of 60 doing his best to learn to paint with the same freshness of enthusiasm as if he were 20" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG R47, 8/1/1884: "When I went to see him there were six panels, each one and a half meters long and sixty centimeters high [approx. 5' by 2'], which he wants to fill with something, and on which he intended to paint a Last Supper, among other things, according to a cartoon which was done, so to speak, in a modern Gothic style."
JLB 454, August-September 1884: "When I went there, there were 6 panels, each 1 1/2 metres long by 60 cm high, which he still had to fill with something and on which he was planning to make, among other things, a Last Supper after a preliminary drawing that was in something like a modern Gothic style."

Context:
BVG R47, 8/1/1884: "Then I told him that -- as it was a dining room -- the appetites of those sitting at the table there would be considerably more stimulated, in my opinion, if they saw scenes from the rural life of the district on the walls instead of mystical Last Suppers."
JLB 454, August-September 1884: "Then I said to him that in my view -- since it's a dining room -- it would do considerably more to whet the appetites of those who would have to sit at table there if scenes from the peasant life of the region were to be painted on the walls rather than mystical last suppers."

Context:
BVG 374, 8/1/1884-8/15/1884: "I begged him to consider whether the appetite of the worthy people who would have to sit down at that table would not be more stimulated by six illustrations from peasant life in the Meierij [Manor District], at the same time symbolizing the four seasons, than by these mystical personages."
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "I suggested he consider whether 6 scenes from the peasant life of the Meijerij -- at the same time symbolizing the 4 seasons -- might not whet the appetites of the good folk who would have to sit at table there more than the above-mentioned mystical personages."

Context:
BVG 381, 10/1/1884: "What he makes is not beautiful, but he works hard, and has already copied four of my six compositions, in quite a different sentiment, and it has something medieval, something like Peasant Breughel."
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "What he does isn't beautiful, but he works hard and has already copied 4 of my 6 with a different sentiment, and his has something medieval, something of Peasant Bruegel about it."

 Context: JLB 284, 11/18/1882: "While on the subject of matters in which I don't entirely agree with you (these do not include your comments on drawing mistakes, each one of which I found to be absolutely right), I come briefly to your large decoration and to your menu, and say only this about them. Old chap, do something else, these are dangerous waters, one knows where one starts from but not if one will have it in one's power to abandon it. Once one has a reputation for being able to make something for 'festive occasions', there won't be a single 'festive occasion' that one is spared."

Vincent's first version of this revised plan is simple: "I gave him provisional plans for sower -- ploughman -- shepherd -- wheat harvest -- potato harvest -- ox-cart in the snow" (JLB 453, 8/4/1884). He fleshes these out slightly in a letter to Van Rappard about the same time: "I made provisional scratches for him of 6 motifs from peasant life, Sower, Ploughman, Wheat harvest, Planting potatoes, Shepherd, Winter with ox-cart'" (JLB 454, August-September 1884). The surviving record of this project, in its various versions, is incomplete and confusing. The earliest dated image is a sketch in letter JLB 453, 8/4/1884 from August showing a wheat harvest (Wheat Harvest [F 374 JH 508]). Because this drawing shows many figures, it may relate to the second iteration of the project. Other sketches dated to August 1884 conform to Vincent's description of his first design: a single sower figure (Sower [F 1143 JH 509]), two figures harvesting potatoes (Potato Harvest with Two Figures [F 1141 JH 510]), an oxcart in the snow with one wood-gatherer (Oxcart in the Snow [F 1144 JH 511]), and a single plowman (Ploughman [F 1142 JH 512]). Four painted "plans" from the project survive: Potato Havest with Figures (F 41 JH 513), Wood-Gatherers in the Snow (F 43 JH 516), Plowman and Potato Reaper (F 172 JH 514), and Shepherd with Flock of Sheep (F 42 JH 517). Of these, only the first two conform to Vincent's revised plan to include more figures at Hermans's request. 

Context:
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "That leaves 6 panels across the width, and for those I gave him provisional plans for sower -- ploughman -- shepherd -- wheat harvest -- potato harvest -- ox-cart in the snow. But I don't know whether it'll come to anything -- because I haven't got a definite agreement from him."

Context:
JLB 459, 9/21/1884: "I was somewhat constrained ... because my art lover [Hermans] preferred compositions with 5 or 6 figures, say, whereas I would rather have had 2 or 3."

Context:
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "But he [Hermans] wants to paint those panels himself, and will that work? (However, I was to design and paint the compositions on a reduced scale.)" (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
JLB 453, 8/4/1884: "That leaves 6 panels across the width, and for those I gave him provisional plans for sower -- ploughman -- shepherd -- wheat harvest -- potato harvest -- ox-cart in the snow."

Context:
BVG 366, 4/1/1884: "You must by no means suppose that I have great illusions about the appreciation of my work; I think one must be satisfied if one succeeds in convincing a few people of the seriousness of one's intentions, and is understood by them without flattery."
JLB 444, April 1884: "You mustn't, whatever you do, think that I have great expectations regarding the appreciation of my work -- I believe one must be satisfied if one gets to the point where one can persuade a few people of the soundness of what one is striving for and is understood by them, without exaggerated praise."

Context:
BVG 382, 10/22/1884: "Here are two more cartes-de-visite, to give you an idea of that decoration for Hermans, of which these two paintings are part."
JLB 466, 10/22/1884: "Here are a couple more cartes-de-visite to give you an idea of that decoration for Hermans -- of which these are two canvases."

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "His copies are very correct as to the drawing, but I think his colour is bad; and as for mine, the warm grey, often bituminous, tone in which I kept the whole thing harmonizes with the woodwork and the style of the room."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "As far as drawing is concerned he copies very accurately, but to my mind his colour is poor, and as for mine, the warm grey, often bituminous tone I used throughout harmonizes with the woodwork and the style of the room."

Context:
BVG 381, 10/1/1884: "I find in him a very pleasant, jovial friend, and it is really touching to see how a man of sixty tries hard to learn to paint with the same youthful enthusiasm as if he were twenty."
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "I have a very pleasant, congenial friend in him, and it's certainly striking to see a man of 60 doing his best to learn to paint with the same freshness of enthusiasm as if he were 20" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 381, 10/1/1884: " What he makes is not beautiful, but he works hard, and has already copied four of my six compositions, in quite a different sentiment, and it has something medieval, something like Peasant Breughel."
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: " What he does isn't beautiful, but he works hard and has already copied 4 of my 6 with a different sentiment, and his has something medieval, something of Peasant Bruegel about it" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "As far as drawing is concerned he copies very accurately, but to my mind his colour is poor."

Context:
BVG R47, 8/1/1884: "Now this man [Hermans] paints a little, and in his house (crowded again with beautiful and ugly antiques)."
JLB 454, August-September 1884: "This man [Hermans] paints a bit himself, and has a room in his house (which is full yet again of beautiful and ugly antiques)."

Context:
BVG R48, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "I very much enjoyed working on the six canvases I wrote you about, and now the painted sketches are finished, all six of them, and are already at my art lover's house; after he has copied them they will remain my property, and I am going to put some final touches on them."
BVG R48, September 1884: "I've worked with great pleasure on the 6 canvases I wrote to you about, and all 6 of them are now done as painted sketches and are already with my art lover, after which, once he's copied them, they remain my property and I'll finish them off."

Context:
JLB 454, August-September 1884: "And it's a job I'm enjoying very much and working hard on. I'll have to go to quite a bit of trouble, though, to point out things to him when he's copying."

Context:
BVG 381, 10/1/1884: "As to Hermans, he is very good, and a man to remain on good terms with, and he is certainly rich, but -- has always been stingy rather than generous."
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "Well, Hermans is very good and a man to keep in with, and he's certainly rich -- but -- has always been tight-fisted rather than generous" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 381, 10/1/1884: "Quite different from a real miser, but after all, I am earning less, much less than nothing."
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "Something very different from an actual miser, but all the same -- I'm earning less (a whole lot less) than nothing" (emphasis in original).

 Context: JLB 454, August-September 1884: "But in such a way that I'm making these 6 canvases for myself, but that I'm making them, in terms of format, for instance, with a view to his room anyway, and he's paying me my expenses for models and paint, while the canvases remain my property, however, and I get them back when he's copied them" (emphasis in original).

We suspect the story is a conflation of (1) Vincent's prior reputation for ministering to the poor in the Borinage, (2) his habit of visiting the social-outcast weavers in Nuenen, (3) Margot's reputation for visiting sick family and friends like Anna van Gogh, and (4) Margot's proper charitable activities. Thus, Bonger's claim may not be technically incorrect, but misleading without context; and, to the extent it is accurate, it must have been Vincent who accompanied Margot on her charitable errands, not Margot who accompanied Vincent. 

Context:
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "That really isn't so, and the doctor asked me about it in particular -- 'she's always had a highly irritable constitution,' he said."

Context:
BVG R41, 3/1/1884: "I am asked quite often, 'Why do others sell and you don't?'"
JLB 433, 3/2/1884: "Quite often asked: why others do sell and I don't" (emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 358, 3/1/1884: "Everywhere I go, and especially at home, a constant watch is being kept on what I do with my work, whether I get anything for it, etc. In our society virtually everybody looks out all the time for that sort of thing, trying to find out everything about it."
JLB 432, 3/2/1884: "… for myself, wherever I go and especially at home, too, I'm always being watched -- what I do with my work, whether I get anything for it &c., in short in society almost everyone looks out for it all the time and wants to know all about it."

This behavior is of a piece with Vincent's not sharing his pursuit of Kee Vos with Van Rappard, and rewriting his relationship with Sien to make it conform to his perception of Van Rappard's Bohemian-haute bourgeois sensibilities. Indeed, the attentions of a homely, forty-three-year-old spinster would not have been grist for his adolescent sexual banter with Van Rappard, and his Mouret-like designs on Margot, if he had them, would have offended his ultimately very traditional friend. The inevitable conclusion is that Vincent was embarrassed by the liaison, as one can hear in this later comment: "Now there are people who say to me, 'what were you doing getting involved with her?'" (JLB 464, 10/2/1884, emphasis original.) 

Context:
JLB 459, 9/21/1884: "Last week I happened to go to Utrecht for the day with some other people from the village. I did call on you, but I couldn't go back because I had to leave again the same day. I found no one home, and I was sorry because it meant that I couldn't see any of your work at all -- I really would have liked to see your large painting of the fish market." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
JLB 465, 10/9/1884: "The tone of her letters is much more self-confident, much more correct and less prejudiced than when I first knew her."

Context:
BVG 368, 5/15/1884: " Recently I have been getting on better with people here than I did at first, which is of great importance to me, for one decidedly needs some distraction, and if one feels too lonely, the work always suffers from it; however, perhaps one must be prepared for it not to last. "
JLB 446, 5/12/1884-5/15/1884: " I've recently been getting on better with the people here than at the outset, which is worth a great deal to me, for one has a definite need to be able to give oneself a little distraction, and when one feels too lonely the work always suffers in consequence. One must, however, perhaps prepare oneself that these things won't last forever."

Context:
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "You will understand that this greatly agitates me, though, this whole episode, when I tell you how, in the very letter I received today, she says 'that no one in her family understands her real mental struggle, that she's trying to distract herself but that she can't, and most of the time sits in her room with a book or something or other that she has got from me.'"

The only testimony on the Begemann side about Vincent's family's reaction to the liaison comes from Margot's nieces, especially Sien, who was ten at the time. She asserts that "his family approved of it because they hoped that it would make Vincent lead a more normal life and in addition Go [Margot] had money" (ibid.). This can be dismissed because ten-year-old Sien would have had no vantage from which to ascertain the Van Gogh position on Vincent and Margot's relationship. We suspect she is merely projecting the logical position that the Van Gogh family would have found the marriage advantageous because Margot was both richer and more socially prominent than Vincent.

On the Begemann attitude toward the relationship, a subject of which she had a much more reliable view, Sien is uncompromisingly negative: "[Margot's] family was strongly opposed, understanding that the result would be that Go would want to make Vincent financially independent so that he could dedicate himself completely to his painting. ... Margot had invested a good part of her money in the weaving mill and linen factory of her brother Louis ... and the possibility seemed real that she would ask for this money back in the case of a possible marriage." (ibid.) These may have been the "insurmountable objections from [Margot's] family" mentioned in Dorus's letter (b2257 V/1982, ''Gogh, Theodorus van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 10/2/1884). 

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "But no matter how vacant and vain, how dead life may appear to be, the man of faith, of energy, of warmth, who knows something, will not be put off so easily."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "But however meaningless and vain, however dead life appears, the man of faith, of energy, of warmth, and who knows something, doesn't let himself be fobbed off like that" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "That disturbing the tranquillity of a woman, as theological people call it (sometimes theologians sans le savoir), is sometimes the breaking of stagnation or melancholy, which steals over many people and is worse than death itself."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "That disturbing the peace of a woman, in the way that the theological people say (sometimes theologians without knowing it, who think that they are not theologians), is sometimes a breaking of stagnation or melancholy that comes over many people and is worse than death itself" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Some people think it terrible to hurl them back into life, into love, and one must consider very carefully how far one may go."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "There are people who think it terrible to hurl them back into life, into feeling again, and one must weigh up carefully how far one may go."

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Now she gives me the impression of a Cremona violin which has been spoiled by bad, bungling repairers. … But originally, it was a rare specimen of great value, and even now she has, in spite of drawbacks, great value."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "Now she gives me the impression of a Cremona violin that's been spoiled in the past by bad bunglers of restorers. … But originally it was a rare example of great value. And she still has much value even so." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "And the condition she was in when I met her proved to be rather too damaged."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "And in the condition in which I met her, it seems to me, a good deal too much had been bungled."

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "As for me, these days are sometimes full of an anguish which makes me sick, which can neither be diverted nor stilled, as with much forethought I have always respected her on a certain point that would have dishonoured her socially (though if I had wanted it, I had her in my power), so that socially she can maintain her position perfectly, and if she understood it well, she would have a splendid opportunity to take her revenge and get satisfaction from those very women who defeated her." (Emphasis in original.)
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "For myself, these days I sometimes suffer distress that makes me ill, that won't be distracted or numbed, but anyway I've always, very far-sightedly, respected her concerning a certain point that would have ruined her socially, although if I'd wanted to, I had her in my power; so that socially she will definitely maintain her position and, if she were to realize it, has a splendid chance to obtain satisfaction from those women who defeated her, and to take her revenge." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "I think it deeply pathetic that this woman (while she was so weak and defeated by five or six other women that she took poison) says kind of triumphantly, as if she had gained a victory and as if she had found rest, 'I too have loved at last.'"
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "I find it damned touching that this woman says in a sort of triumph, while she was so weak, after all (and defeated by 5 or 6 other women) that she took poison, as if she'd gained a victory and as if she'd found peace -- 'still, at last I have loved'" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "She had often said when we were quietly walking together, 'I wish I could die now' -- I had never paid any attention to it."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "She had often said to me when we were taking a quiet walk or something, 'I wish I could die now' -- I'd never paid attention to it."

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Theo, I had already consulted with a doctor once about certain symptoms of hers; three days before I had secretly warned her brother that I was afraid she would get brain fever, and that I was sorry to state that, in my eyes, the Begemann family acted extremely imprudently in speaking to her the way they did."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "Theo, I had already consulted a doctor once about certain symptoms she had. 3 days before I'd warned her brother in confidence that I was afraid she would have a nervous breakdown and that to my regret I had to state that I believed that the B. family had acted extremely imprudently by speaking to her as they did."

Context:
JLB 469, 11/14/1884: "Three days before, after all, I had already warned him and said, I'm concerned about your sister."

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "I had secretly warned her brother that I was afraid she would get brain fever."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "I'd warned her brother in confidence that I was afraid she would have a nervous breakdown."

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "Theo, I had already consulted a doctor once about certain symptoms she had. 3 days before I'd warned her brother in confidence that I was afraid she would have a nervous breakdown and that to my regret I had to state that I believed that the B. family had acted extremely imprudently by speaking to her as they did."

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "Theo, I had already consulted a doctor once about certain symptoms she had. 3 days before I'd warned her brother in confidence that I was afraid she would have a nervous breakdown and that to my regret I had to state that I believed that the B. family had acted extremely imprudently by speaking to her as they did."

Context:
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "You do understand that when I wrote to you that it reminded me of a passage from Mme Bovary -- this has nothing to do with the second Mme B., whom the book is actually about -- but only the first Mme Bovary, about whom there is virtually nothing except that one thing, how and why she died -- upon hearing bad news about her fortune. HERE the cause of [Margot's] desperation wasn't bad news about her fortune, but the way they accused her of being too old and that sort of thing." (Emphasis in original.)

If she was pregnant, there were two options: to abort the pregnancy or to have the baby and give it away. (Vincent himself acknowledges these pragmatic solutions in June 1883 when he advises Theo to have a child by Marie: "I believe everything can be so arranged that you don't compromise yourself in the eyes of the world" [JLB 349, 6/3/1883].) For a wealthy bourgeois Protestant family like the Begemanns, both options were thinkable, and both would have been arranged through a trusted intermediary like Idenburg. The only direct evidence for a child comes from Ruggenberg who, in the course of his research, received an anonymous call informing him that "Van Gogh had another son here in Nuenen" (i.e., other than Sien's son Willem in The Hague) (Ruggenberg, n.p.). He does not identify the source of this tip nor does he pursue it beyond the accounts of Margot's nieces, which, needless to say, include no mention of a pregnancy, much less a child. Most biographical accounts take Vincent's denials at face value, despite their obviously self-serving bias.

The matter of Margot's return to Nuenen, which could help resolve the question, is shrouded in uncertainty. In October, according to Vincent, she was planning to leave Utrecht in October and go to The Hague "for a while" (JLB 465, 10/9/1884). In November, Vincent reports: "Margot Begemann is coming back to Nuenen one of these days" (JLB 469, 11/14/1884). Around the same time, Vincent's mother writes Theo to the same effect: "the homecoming for Margot is drawing near" (b2262 V/1982, ''Gogh-Carbentus, Anna C. van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 11/11/1884). If Margot did come home in late November or early December, it would argue against a live birth because she would have been showing in mid-September at the time of her suicide attempt. But did she come home? In early December, Dorus writes mysteriously: "Marg[ot] is not here anymore. I think she suffers from it" (b2263 V/1982, ''Gogh, Theodorus van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 12/9/1884). Not until late March the following year, six to seven months after her departure, does Margot resurface in the Van Gogh family correspondence, in another letter from Vincent's mother: "This coming week, Margo[t] is coming home" (b2268 V/1982, ''Gogh-Carbentus, Anna C. van en Gogh, Willemina van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 3/25/1885).

The only faint hint of an abortion in the known record is Margot's strange comment during her recovery in Utrecht, reported by Vincent after his visit there: "she isn't as angry about society as I am, perhaps, but nonetheless she does see in it the 'naughty boys who rob nests' -- and who take pleasure in it and laugh" (JLB 465, 10/9/1884). Abortions were officially outlawed in the Netherlands at the time but prosecutions were virtually precluded by the requirement of a showing that the fetus was alive at the time of the abortion. Indeed, Holland was an early adopter of modern birth control methods, including abortion. This was largely due to the extraordinary efforts of one Dutch woman, Aletta Jacobs, who founded the world's first birth-control clinic on the Herengracht in Amsterdam in 1882. This was only one in a lifetime of firsts for the pioneering Jacobs, who was also the first female to study at the university level in the Netherlands (Gröningen) and the first woman to earn a Dutch medical degree. Her education gave her a platform for claiming the right to vote, another first for a woman in the Netherlands, and her claim sparked the Dutch suffrage movement. She also worked with Margaret Sanger on women's rights and with Nobel-Prize winner Jane Addams for pacifist causes. 

Context:
BVG 376, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: " Through her brother I have let her sisters know that I was forced to advise them urgently to apologize to their sister for their groundless and malicious distrust and certain equally unfounded suspicions, which in the first place it was untimely for them to express and in the second place utterly erroneous and in the third place meant so many nails in the patient's coffin."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "I then let her sisters know through her brother that I absolutely had to advise them to give their sister satisfaction for unfounded mistrust and certain unfounded suspicions, expressing which was firstly premature, secondly wide of the mark, thirdly nails in the patient's coffin" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "One of them, however, goes on being sulky, and this one also tried to speak to me, but I gave her as good as I got."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: " One keeps grumbling, though, and she's already accosted me, but I really gave her back as good as I got."

Vincent appears to have had a separate and not unfriendly relationship with Louis Begemann, Margot's brother. He calls Louis "the only one in the family who knows all the ins and outs of the poison" and allows that Louis "from the outset Louis B. himself has acted resolutely and sympathetically towards [Margot]" (JLB 457, 9/16/1884). Thus, it is not unreasonable to speculate that after the rancorous confrontation at the family council, Vincent approached Louis separately and received the more conciliatory response suggesting a two-year cooling-off period. Vincent, in typical fashion, rejects this out of hand. Always infuriated by counsels of patience, he demands to marry her immediately or "not at all" (JLB 456, 9/16/1884). It is possible, of course, that Vincent invented the illogical story about a two-year waiting period for Theo's benefit to cover the Begemann's humiliating unhesitant rejection of his marriage proposal. This is certainly more consistent with the version of the story that was passed down in the Begemann family, in which Margot's marriage to the strange parson's son was never anything but unthinkable. 

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "This had no effect, at least no other than that they told me to wait two years, which I decidedly refused to do saying that if there was a question of marriage, it had to be very soon or not at all."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "Well, this didn't help, to the extent that the people put me off for two years, and I most definitely wouldn't accept this since I said, if there's a question of marriage here it would have to be very soon or not at all" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "It was such a dreadful fright, old chap; we were alone in the field when I heard that."

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "One morning, though, she fell to the ground. I still only thought it was a little weakness. But it got worse and worse. Cramps, she lost the power of speech and mumbled all sorts of only half-comprehensible things, collapsed with all sorts of convulsions ... I was suddenly suspicious and said -- have you taken something by any chance? She screamed 'Yes!'"

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "It was strychnine that she took, but the dose must have been too small, or she may have taken chloroform or laudanum with it to numb herself, which would actually be an antidote to strychnine" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "Well, I acted boldly. She wanted me to swear I'd never tell anyone about it -- I said, fine, I'll swear anything you want, but on condition that you vomit that stuff up straightaway -- stick your finger down your throat until you vomit, otherwise I'll call the others."

Context:
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "The vomiting only half worked and I went with her to her brother Louis, and told Louis, and got him to give her an emetic, and I went straight to Eindhoven, to Dr van de Loo."

Context:
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "I really don't know how to deal with the B. family -- they were very unkind to her at first -- and even on the day she left by no means all of them [Margot's sisters] were affectionate or even just good."

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "She was immediately sent off to a doctor in Utrecht, and is said to have gone abroad."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "… she was rushed straight to a doctor in Utrecht, and it's been put about that she's on a trip for the firm ..."

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Something terrible has happened, Theo, which hardly anybody here knows, or suspects, or may ever know, so for heaven's sake keep it to yourself."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "Something has happened, Theo, which most of the people here know or suspect nothing about -- nor may ever know, so keep as silent as the grave about it -- but which is terrible" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 376, September 1884: "Through her brother I have let her sisters know that I was forced to advise them urgently to apologize to their sister for their groundless and malicious distrust and certain equally unfounded suspicions, which in the first place it was untimely for them to express and in the second place utterly erroneous and in the third place meant so many nails in the patient's coffin."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "I then let her sisters know through her brother that I absolutely had to advise them to give their sister satisfaction for unfounded mistrust and certain unfounded suspicions, expressing which was firstly premature, secondly wide of the mark, thirdly nails in the patient's coffin."

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "But for heaven's sake, what is the meaning of that standing and of that religion which the respectable people maintain?"
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "But what sort of a position is it, then, and what sort of a religion is it that these respectable people subscribe to?"

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "I am afraid that the old religion will once again benumb her and freeze her with that damnable icy coldness ... Oh, I am no friend of present-day Christianity, though its Founder was sublime -- I have seen through present-day Christianity only too well. That icy coldness hypnotized even me, in my youth -- but I have taken my revenge since then."
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "I fear for her that the old religion will numb and freeze her again with that damned icy coldness ... Oh -- I'm no friend of present-day Christianity, even though the founder was sublime -- I've seen through present-day Christianity only too well. It mesmerized me, that icy coldness in my youth -- but I've had my revenge since then." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "But for heaven's sake, what is the meaning of that standing and of that religion which the respectable people maintain? -- oh, they are perfectly absurd, making society a kind of lunatic asylum, a perfectly topsy-turvy world -- oh, that mysticism."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "But what sort of a position is it, then, and what sort of a religion is it that these respectable people subscribe to? Oh, they're simply absurd things and they make society into a sort of madhouse, into an upside-down, wrong world. Oh, that mysticism." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 388, 12/7/1884: "To me personally, an important difference between before and after the revolution -- is the change in social position of women and the collaboration that is desired between men and women, with equal rights, equal freedom."
JLB 473, 12/6/1884: "For me personally, there's a cardinal point of distinction between before and after the revolution -- the reversal of the social position of the woman, and the collaboration one wants between men and women with equal rights, with equal freedom" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Sometimes the breaking of stagnation or melancholy, which steals over many people and is worse than death itself."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "That disturbing the peace of a woman, in the way that the theological people say (sometimes theologians without knowing it, who think that they are not theologians), is sometimes a breaking of stagnation or melancholy that comes over many people and is worse than death itself" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "That disturbing the peace of a woman, in the way that the theological people say (sometimes theologians without knowing it, who think that they are not theologians), is sometimes a breaking of stagnation or melancholy that comes over many people and is worse than death itself" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "She always skirted around that in the past."

Context:
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Look here -- I certainly believe or know for sure that she loves me, I ,, believe ,, ,, ,, ,, ,, I ,, her that has been sincere -- has it also been crazy -- etc.? Perhaps it has, if you like, but the wise people who never do anything that's crazy, aren't they even crazier in my eyes than I in theirs?" (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 378, 10/1/1884: "Perhaps, if you like -- but aren't the wise ones, those who never do anything foolish, even more foolish in my eyes than I am in theirs?"
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "Perhaps it has, if you like, but the wise people who never do anything that's crazy, aren't they even crazier in my eyes than I in theirs?" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "That I also had a talk with the doctor she's staying with, specifically to get his advice as to what I should or shouldn't do here in the interests of the patient's health and future, either go on or withdraw. Wanting no other advice but a physician's on this question."

It is highly doubtful that Dr. Idenburg would have discussed Margot's condition at this level of detail with Vincent, as Vincent claims (JLB 458, 9/21/1884). Vincent was certainly no friend of the Begemann family. Nor is there any evidence that Idenburg had any expertise in the area of nervous diseases. The implication cannot be dismissed that Vincent has merely invented this "report" as part of his general effort to deflect blame for the terrible events of September. Although the terminology sounds convincing, Vincent's understanding of nervous conditions and their symptomatology is, at best, idiosyncratic: "in a relatively short time, in about a fortnight or 3 weeks, it will become clear whether or not a dangerous nervous disease will manifest itself" (ibid.).

The accuracy, and perhaps the sincerity, of his reports on Margot's condition are further cast into doubt by his assessment in late September that "it will be a long time before she recovers completely" (JLB 463, 9/30/1884). In fact, she left Dr. Idenburg's house in October (JLB 465, 10/9/1884), only about two weeks after Vincent's dire prognosis. (See Ch. 24, n. 306.) Instead of returning to Nuenen, however, she went to stay with relatives in The Hague for several months. At one point, Vincent even appears to blame Margot herself for her troubles, attributing her behavior alternately to her "very frail" and "highly irritable constitution" (JLB 458, 9/21/1884). When Theo suggests that she must be "an angel of patience," Vincent quickly corrects him: "That really isn't so" (ibid.).

Context:
JLB 464, 10/2/1884: "As regards this woman in question, how it must end remains a mystery to me, but neither she nor I will do anything crazy" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 459, 9/21/1884: "Last week I happened to go to Utrecht for the day with some other people from the village. I did call on you, but I couldn't go back because I had to leave again the same day. I found no one home, and I was sorry because it meant that I couldn't see any of your work at all." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "I spent almost the whole day with her then."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "I spent almost the whole day with her then."

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "When you have gained a secure position, then you will find a wife and children and domestic happiness. This is a beautiful promise society makes, but does society keep this promise?"
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "Once you've attained a position and can maintain a certain status, then you'll find wife and children and domestic happiness. This is a fine promise that society makes, but does it also keep that promise?"

Context:
BVG 375, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "You will understand how everything, everything passed through my mind these last few days, and how absorbed I was in this sad story."
JLB 456, 9/16/1884: "You understand that in these last few days everything, everything passed through my mind, and I was absorbed in this sad story."

Context:
BVG 376, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Dangers are threatening from two sides, Theo -- on the one hand there may be the formation of a critical nerve disease, which may burst out in the form of multiple neuritis or encephalitis for instance."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "There are dangers from two sides here, Theo -- on the one hand that a nervous crisis develops and flares up as, say, a nervous breakdown or brain fever" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 376, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Dangers are threatening from two sides, Theo -- on the one hand there may be the formation of a critical nerve disease, which may burst out in the form of multiple neuritis or encephalitis for instance."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "There are dangers from two sides here, Theo -- on the one hand that a nervous crisis develops and flares up as, say, a nervous breakdown or brain fever" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 376, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Dangers are threatening from two sides, Theo -- on the one hand there may be the formation of a critical nerve disease, which may burst out in the form of multiple neuritis or encephalitis for instance."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "There are dangers from two sides here, Theo -- on the one hand that a nervous crisis develops and flares up as, say, a nervous breakdown or brain fever" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 376, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "On the other hand there is the danger of melancholia or religious mania."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "On the other hand there's a danger of melancholia or religious mania."

Context:
BVG 376, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "On the other hand there is the danger of melancholia or religious mania."
JLB 457, 9/16/1884: "On the other hand there's a danger of melancholia or religious mania."

Context:
BVG R41, 3/1/1884: "And -- I firmly believe that there are things like that in the depths of our souls -- and that they would cut us to the quick if we knew about them."
JLB 433, 3/2/1884: "And -- I always believe that in the depths there are these things -- that would rend our hearts if we knew them."

Context:
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "Van Rappard is still here and will be staying for another week."

Context:
JLB 462, 9/24/1884-9/29/1884: "Something else -- when you come, come via Eindhoven, writing to tell me which train -- then I'll meet you at Eindhoven station" (emphasis in original).

Context:
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "I can't eat and I can't sleep, that's to say not enough, and that makes one weak."

Context:
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "I've worked really hard recently; … I can't eat and I can't sleep, that's to say not enough, and that makes one weak."

Context:
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "I've worked really hard recently; I believe, in conjunction with other agitation, even overworked. At least I'm in a sad mood, and all these things have affected me to such an extent that I have many days when I'm relatively powerless. I can't eat and I can't sleep, that's to say not enough, and that makes one weak."

Context:
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "At least I'm in a sad mood ..."

Context:
BVG 377, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "As for me, these days are sometimes full of an anguish which makes me sick, which can neither be diverted nor stilled ..."
JLB 458, 9/21/1884: "For myself, these days I sometimes suffer distress that makes me ill, that won't be distracted or numbed" (emphasis in original).

Context:
BVG 380, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "For I am in a melancholy mood, and all these things have combined to upset me in such a way that there are many days when I am almost paralyzed."
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "At least I'm in a sad mood, and all these things have affected me to such an extent that I have many days when I'm relatively powerless."

Context:
It is not clear what form their "pushing" took. Vincent's parents clearly supported Van Rappard's visit in conversations with their son -- support that Vincent immediately conveyed to his friend: "my parents in particular who are counting on you, and it would be a disappointment to us if your visit were to fall through. ... But both they and I are definitely expecting you, and would be disappointed if you didn't come." (JLB 462, 9/24/1884-9/29/1884, emphasis in original.) It is the fancy of the text that they wrote Van Rappard directly. As concerned as they were, they probably would have considered any dire revelations as both a presumption on their relationship with the young gentleman and a violation of family privacy. However, a courteous, carefully-worded letter of hospitality could have conveyed the necessary urgency. 

Context:
JLB 448, 5/29/1884: "I look back on your visit with great pleasure, and I don't doubt that the more you come here the more the scenery will attract you."

At times, Vincent is so eager to impress Van Rappard with his artistic savoir faire that he skids toward gibberish: "' if you keep the division essentially as it is, you would in my view have to solve it by means of a division of light and shade, a choice of chiaroscuro' ... All the same -- your croquis will be accurate and in accordance with the painting as regards the canvas area that your figures occupy as against the area of canvas covered by houses, street, sky. And then it struck me immediately that the figures will be overwhelmed by the rest, and it will become too much of a battle between figures and surroundings. ... for instance, that I fear your foreground can't carry all the things that are in it, and will either become paint or else irresolute and woolly -- what they call weak. I had just the same thing this summer with a weaver's interior that I couldn't take any further because the whole thing came too far forward, that the painting began with what should have been the background -- the foreground, the solid basis, was missing." (ibid.; emphasis in original.) 

BVG 370, 6/1/1884-6/15/1884. (See Ch. 22, n. 30.) Vincent writes Theo in early June, soon after Van Rappard's departure: "I've been working quite hard on a woman spinning." In August, he writes Van Rappard: "Did I already tell you that I've also made a woman spinning" (JLB 454, August-September 1884). Of Vincent's surviving works from this period, there are two paintings of spinners (Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1139 JH 494] and Woman Reeling Yarn [F 68 JH 495]), in addition to two corresponding letter sketches (Woman Reeling Yarn [F 1137 JH 493] and Woman Reeling Yarn [F 136 JH 496]). All of these spring from a work that Van Rappard apparently did during his visit in May, Woman Spooling Yarn (De Brouwer, p. 87, cat. n. 109). The subject of spinners had preoccupied Van Rappard for some time, appearing first after his trip to Drenthe in 1882 or 1883 (ibid., p. 76, cat. n. 75-77). Vincent complimented these works at the time: "Your work, again, I think it very good -- above all the sketch of the woman spinning" (JLB 354, 5/21/1883, emphasis in original).

Vincent's acquisition of a spinning wheel in spring 1884 may have been directly prompted by his visit to Van Rappard's studio in December 1883 (JLB 448, 5/29/1884) when he saw his friend's painting, Woman Spinning, that won the silver medal in London in May 1884. (According to De Brouwer, this painting cannot be identified with certainty, but is probably Old Woman at the Spinning Wheel [De Brouwer, p. 86, cat. n. 107].) The London award, which Vincent knew about at the time of Van Rappard's visit in May (JLB 448, 5/29/1884), probably inspired the series of spinner paintings that Vincent produced in the summer of 1884 in the months before Van Rappard's second visit to Nuenen in October. There were other subjects of Van Rappard's that inspired Vincent around this time. (See Ch. 22, n. 89.) 

Context:
JLB 454, August-September 1884: "I haven't written to you for a long time. First I waited for your reply to my last letter, but assumed it didn't come because you'd probably gone to Drenthe."

Context:
BVG R46, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "All the same I did not lose sight of the fact -- as you suppose -- that it is you who are making the picture, not I -- but I base my argument on something you will hardly deny, namely that you are making a PICTURE" (emphasis in original).
JLB 460, 9/21/1884: "By the way, it's not -- as you suppose -- that I've lost sight of the fact that it's you, not me, who's making that painting. I base my reasoning on what you won't contradict, that you are making a PAINTING." (Emphasis in original.)

Context:
JLB 459, 9/21/1884: "And at the same time I wanted to talk about your visit to us, whether or not you feel like it. I already wrote to you, but no reply to two letters."

Context:
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "The last few days R. and I have been on some long excursions, and visited people house by house -- we've seen lots of beautiful things, just because of the magnificent autumnal effects."

Context:
BVG 383, 10/15/1884-10/31/1884: "Recently Van Rappard and I have made long excursions, and visited house after house; we have seen the most beautiful things, just because of the splendid autumn effects. And we have also discovered new models."
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "The last few days R. and I have been on some long excursions, and visited people house by house -- we've seen lots of beautiful things, just because of the magnificent autumnal effects. And also discovered new models."

Context:
BVG 383, 10/15/1884-10/31/1884: "Recently Van Rappard and I have made long excursions, and visited house after house; we have seen the most beautiful things, just because of the splendid autumn effects."
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "The last few days R. and I have been on some long excursions, and visited people house by house -- we've seen lots of beautiful things, just because of the magnificent autumnal effects."

Context:
BVG 383, 10/15/1884-10/31/1884: "Van Rappard is still here, and will stay another week, as he is up to his ears in his work."
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "Van Rappard is still here and will be staying for another week since the work is going extraordinarily well."

Context:
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "Perhaps a few other painters might come to this region next year. I wish they would, because one shouldn't go for too long without ever seeing any painters. Well -- as to that -- I'll get new acquaintances before too long in any event."

Context:
JLB 467, 10/25/1884: "The heads that he's [Van Rappard's] painting at present are reminiscent in their effect of certain studies of heads by Courbet, say. But it's becoming devilish good, that I can assure you."

Context:
BVG 380, 9/15/1884-9/30/1884: "Van Rappard has been both in Drenthe and in Terschelling again, and seems to have got a good crop of studies."
JLB 463, 9/30/1884: "Van Rappard has been in Drenthe and on Terschelling again, and appears to have netted a goodly catch of studies."

Context:
JLB 519, 7/16/1885: "I had a visit today from Wenckebach, a painter from Utrecht who sees Van Rappard every day. He makes landscapes and I've often heard his name mentioned, and he got a medal in London at the same time as Van Rappard."

Both Vincent's "last letter" and the reply that Van Rappard discusses here have, apparently, been lost. The dispute that erupted between the two men when Van Rappard responded with withering criticism to a lithograph of Vincent's painting The Potato Eaters in 1885 (see Chapter 24) clearly had its roots in the October 1884 visit. The parameters of the dispute were already in place by early 1885 and, indeed, brought their correspondence to a temporary halt in February and March of that year -- the last in a series of such "en froid" pauses prior to the final separation. In the furious exchange over The Potato Eaters, the embracing nature of the earlier argument (contained in letters that appear to be missing from the record) is hinted at: "Whatever my faults may be -- I have genuine good will in my endeavours as a painter, I also have genuine good will to be good to other people -- I have too much heart to be as frivolous in my work as you always accuse me of being. I don't have to take your letter to heart, and I won't." (JLB 516, 7/15/1885.) 

Context:
BVG R51a, 5/24/1885: "I hoped that I was mistaken in my opinion of your manner of working, and I hope so still; but for this very reason I was deeply sorry to see such a complete confirmation of my opinion in what you sent me that I myself was terrified by it."
JLB 504, 5/25/1885: "I hoped and I still hope that I'm mistaken in my opinion of your manner of working."

Wenckebach's account provides considerable detail for this trip, including a dinner with Kerssemakers: "That same day we dined at the house of one of Van Gogh's friends in Eindhoven" (ibid., p. 67). The dinner and the visit are confirmed in a letter that Vincent wrote Kerssemakers soon thereafter (Hulsker, "Vincent's Letters to Anton Kerssemakers," pp. 21-24). In his letter to Plasschaert, however, Kerssemakers does not mention this dinner visit to his house. One of the two accounts is either inaccurate or incomplete. Almost certainly they do not describe the same visit: Kerssemakers recalls Vincent and Van Rappard together visiting Wenckebach in Heeze and excludes himself, while Wenckebach puts his dinner with Vincent and Kerssemakers in Eindhoven and explicitly excludes Van Rappard. Because of these substantial differences and because Kerssemakers's recollections predate Wenckebach's by twtenty-five years, we conclude that they describe two distinct events: one a visit by Vincent and Van Rappard to Wenckebach in Heeze in October 1884, the other a dinner at Kerssemakers's house in Eindhoven in late June 1885. It is likely that Wenckebach, fifty-five years after the events, forgot the earlier encounter with Vincent in 1884, which was, after all, just a brief visit to his studio in Heeze during his many months there. (For a discussion of whether Wenckebach was staying in Heeze at the time of his visit to Nuenen in 1885, see Ch. 23, n. 568.) The only evidence we can find to the contrary are two ambiguous passages in Vincent's contemporaneous letters to Kerssemakers that, as translated by Hulsker, can be read to suggest that he was meeting Wenckebach for the first time in 1885: "It was a pleasure to have met Wenckebach" (Hulsker, "Vincent's Letters to Anton Kerssemakers," p. 21), and "I have a favorable impression of Wenckebach" (ibid., p. 22).