Notes
Chapters
- A Fanatic Heart
- 27. Against the Grain
- 28. The Zemganno Brothers
- 29. Catch and Release
- 30. A Mercenary Frenzy
- 31. Le Paradou
- 32. The Sunflower and the Oleander
- 33. The Poet's Garden
- 34. Imaginary Savage
- 35. La Lutte
- 36. The Stranger
- 37. Two Roads
- 38. The Real South
- 39. Starry Night
- 40. The Isolated One
- 41. A Degenerate Child
- 42. The Garden and the Wheatfield
- 43. Illusions Fade, the Sublime Remains
- Ici Repose
The Early Years
The Dutch Years
The French Years
Chapters
Context:
BVG 92, 3/7/1877: "Oh! Theo, Theo boy, if I might only succeed in this, if that heavy depression because everything I undertook failed, that torrent of reproaches which I have heard and felt ..."
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "O Theo, Theo, old boy, if only it might happen to me and that deluge of downcastness about everything which I undertook and failed at, that torrent of reproaches I've heard and felt ..."
Regarding the family cat, the official story was that the cat, Miet, had run away, but Anna suspected foul play. "[S]omeone might have taken it for its lovely fur," she wrote, adding, "This one looks like the one in Zundert" (ibid.). Dorus had an equally dire view of the cat's fate: "People will have greedy eyes when they see her beautiful coat," he wrote. (b2797 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus en Anna C. van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 11/24/1876.)
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "Now, old boy, dear brother, what good days those were when we were all together …"
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "It may be that there is a time in life when one is tired of everything and feels, perhaps correctly, as if all one does is wrong ..."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "There can come a time in life when one is tired of everything, as it were, and has the feeling as if everything that one does is wrong ..."
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "And at such a time, when one is weary of oneself, one should think with devotion, hope and love of the words: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest' [Matthew 11:28]."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "And at such times, in which one feels tired of oneself, one may think with heedfulness, hope and love of the words 'Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest' [Matthew 11:28]."
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "It may be that there is a time in life when one is tired of everything and feels, perhaps correctly, as if all one does is wrong ..."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "There can come a time in life when one is tired of everything, as it were, and has the feeling as if everything that one does is wrong ..."
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "I sincerely wish you the best in the new year, I wish you well and may you be blessed in all things. Wonderful to have seen each other again, how beautiful it was that morning you left, and how often we'll think back on that trip to Chaam."
Context:
BVG 92, 3/7/1877: "Oh! Theo, Theo boy, if I might only succeed in this, if that heavy depression because everything I undertook failed ..."
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "O Theo, Theo, old boy, if only it might happen to me and that deluge of downcastness about everything which I undertook and failed at ..."
We suspect these details are part of a cover story designed by Dorus to make the job in Dordrecht more palatable to Vincent. In fact, Dorus had been anticipating his conversation with Vincent (and, no doubt, the need to find a job for him) for at least a month. (See, e.g., b2797 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus en Anna C. van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 11/24/1876 and b2800 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 12/6/1876.) Vincent, too, had reason to underplay to Theo the family's role in securing the position in Dodrecht. Out of pride, he wanted to preserve the appearance of independence in what was otherwise a very compromising volte face. A 1914 interview with Braat's son, Dirk, introduces another explanation: "On the strength of a letter from my brother Frans, who in those days was an employee of the firm of Boussod Valadon & Co., where he often came into contact with Mr. Theo van Gogh (Vincent's brother), my father decided to give Vincent a job in the shop operated by [his] firm." (Van Gogh-Bonger, with Deel and Druk, p. 107; see Ch. 9, n. 87).
Braat appears to have his story confused. Theo was still working at Goupil in The Hague in 1877 and, as far as is known, he did not become friends with Frans Braat until he moved to Paris in 1878 (JLB 143, 4/3/1878; JLB 145, 7/22/1878). Frans Braat became ill in 1884, but he and Theo were still friends in 1886 when Goupil was renamed "Boussod Valadon & Co." (JLB 438, 3/15/1884-3/19/1884). It is remotely possible that Theo knew Braat before 1878, but if Theo had played any role in Vincent's hiring, it makes no sense that Dorus would write Theo and deny that the family had played such a role. We suspect, rather, that Dirk Braat confused Vincent's Uncle Vincent, an influential art-world figure in 1877; and his brother Theo, an influential gérant in Paris a decade later. One part of Braat's account rings true. He said, "In point of fact, there was no vacancy in my father's shop. The staff was quite sufficient ... But you know how it is -- my father did not like to turn down Frans's request." (Brusse quoting Braat, in Brusse, in Van Gogh, Vincent, p. 108.) Substitute "Uncle Cent" for "Frans" in that sentence and you indeed have an offer that could not be refused. The nineteen-year-old Theo may or may not have put in a good word for his brother, but it is highly unlikely that his input was determinative with either Braat, fils or père.
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "Uncle asked Mr. B. whether he would have a place for me, if I should wish it. Mr. B. thought he might have a place, and said that I should come sometime to talk about it. So I went there early yesterday morning; Pa and Ma and I, too, thought it was something we shouldn't let pass without seeing what it was."
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "Anna and the girls and Cor went to Princenhage, and Pa wanted me to go with them."
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "Yesterday evening I was at Uncle Vincent's to tell him that I'd just been to Dordrecht."
Context:
BVG 83, 12/31/1876: "Yesterday evening I was at Uncle Vincent's to tell him that I had gone to Dordrecht at once. It was a stormy night; you can imagine how beautiful the road to Prinsenhage was with the dark clouds and their silver linings."
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "Yesterday evening I was at Uncle Vincent's to tell him that I'd just been to Dordrecht, it was a stormy evening, you can imagine how beautiful the road to Princenhage was with the dark clouds with their silver linings."
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "Agreed that after the New Year I should go to [Dordrecht] for a week, after that we'll see. ... tell Mr. Tersteeg straightaway that I'll be going there for a week to see how it goes."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Longing to have my trunk, which is on the way, one reason being to have some prints hanging in my room again."
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "[I] did wish that they, for their part, would remember me, and asked them 'to wrap my recollection in the cloak of Charity.'"
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "I'll have rather a lot of bookkeeping to do for the time being and will no doubt be busy."
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "… things are going rather well in the shop, and it's so busy that I go there at 8 o'clock in the morning and come back at 1 o'clock at night."
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "… but I'm happy about that."
Context:
JLB 103, 2/26/1877: "[A] sense of duty sanctifies things and joins them together, and turns many small things into one large one."
Context:
BVG 83, 12/31/1876: "My salary would certainly be a bit higher that with Mr. Jones, and it is one's duty to think of that because later in life a man needs more."
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "… the salary would certainly be a little better than with Mr. Jones, and especially with an eye to later, when a man has need of more, one is obliged to think of such things."
Context:
BVG 83, 12/31/1876: "My salary would certainly be a bit higher that with Mr. Jones, and it is one's duty to think of that because later in life a man needs more."
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "… the salary would certainly be a little better than with Mr. Jones, and especially with an eye to later, when a man has need of more, one is obliged to think of such things."
Context:
JLB 107, 3/8/1877: "I'm doing well here, at the beginning of the year there's a lot of work in the shop, so I'm there until 12 or 1 o'clock at night."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Tell Mr. Tersteeg that he shouldn't be upset about the drawing examples being away for so long, it's for the high school, 30 have already been chosen -- but they still want to select some for the secondary school, which is why they have to keep them for another week or so."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Last week we were flooded here."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "There was quite a bit of commotion, and in all the downstairs rooms people were busy bringing upstairs what they could, and a small boat came down the street."
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "There was no little noise and bustle: on all the ground floors people were busy carrying things upstairs, and a little boat came floating through the street."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "There was quite a bit of commotion, and in all the downstairs rooms people were busy bringing upstairs what they could, and a small boat came down the street."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Working with your hands like that for a day is a welcome change, though it was a pity it was for that reason."
Context:
BVG 88, 3/16/1877: "You do not know how I am drawn to the Bible; I read it daily, but I should like to know it by heart …"
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: "I do read something out of [the Bible] every day, but I'd so much like to know it by heart."
Context:
JLB 104, 2/28/1877: "Last night I left the office at 1 o'clock and walked around the Grote Kerk again and then along the canals and past that old gate to the Nieuwe Kerk and then home."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Last Sunday morning I was in the French church here, which is very serious and dignified and has something very appealing."
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "I also went briefly to the Roman Catholic church, where evening Mass was under way, it was a beautiful sight, all those peasants and their wives with their black clothes and white caps, and the church looked so friendly in the evening light."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "… in the morning I heard the Rev. Hooyer's farewell sermon in the little French church. ... In the afternoon I went to the Grote Kerk to hear the Rev. Keller van Hoorn ... [and] in the evening I heard the Rev. Greeff."
Context:
JLB 100, 12/31/1876: "I also went briefly to the Roman Catholic church, where evening Mass was under way, it was a beautiful sight, all those peasants and their wives with their black clothes and white caps, and the church looked so friendly in the evening light."
Context:
BVG 94, 4/30/1877: "… in the morning I heard the farewell sermon of the Reverend Mr. Hooyer in the French church. The church was crowded, and he spoke with fire and enthusiasm."
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "… in the morning I heard the Rev. Hooyer's farewell sermon in the little French church. The church was full, he spoke with fire and feeling."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "I was moved by the sight of that distinguished, singular congregation, the mood was very earnest. He thanked them for the love that he had received from many of them, especially at difficult times, in the beginning, four years ago, when he was wrestling with the difficulties of speaking in French, because he's a Dutchman."
Context:
BVG 198, 5/14/1882: "You mention something that happened to you. I think I am able to recall something about it very faintly in the dim and distant past. If I remember rightly, you were acquainted with a girl from a lower class and . . . were fond of her and sl . . . with her."
JLB 227, 5/15/1882: "You speak of something that happened to you. I believe I remember something very vaguely, as if in a mist long ago. If I remember rightly, you were acquainted with a girl from a lower class and you loved her and had slept with her."
Stolwijk takes this to mean that the woman already had "a child to care for," rather than a baby on the way -- a generous interpretation for which we can find no support (Stolwijk, p. 51). (4) Given Theo's highly developed sense of duty, it is extremely unlikely that he would have sacrificed his family honor and his position at work just for the love of a woman that he could well have kept quietly as a mistress (still a common practice of which Theo would avail himself repeatedly in his life). (5) Vincent's letters in the fall of the previous year, especially JLB 89, 8/26/1876 in August, strongly suggest that Theo was deeply involved in a relationship at that time, and that the relationship caused him anguish. Whether or not this was the governess candidate from August, the timing would conform to a visible pregnancy in February-March. Leo Jansen noted to the authors that there is an ink blot on the original letter: "I suspect someone other than Vincent caused it, deliberately. But he did indeed write 'slept with her,' not a coarser expression. See JLB 227 5/14 or 15/1882; facsimile of p. 2v: 6."
Context:
BVG 212, 7/6/1882: "In the past you also had an 'illusion,' as Father and Mother call it, about a woman of the people; and it was not because you could not have chosen that path in life that nothing came of it after all, but because things in general took another turn."
JLB 244, 7/6/1882: "In the past you had what Pa and Ma also call an 'illusion' for a woman of the people, and the fact that nothing came of it wasn't because you couldn't take that path in life but because things took a different course ..."
Context:
JLB 227, 5/15/1882: "[Y]ou consulted Pa about it, and also discussed it with me. And that Pa made you promise something to do with marrying. I don't know what exactly, but perhaps that you wouldn't do such a thing without his permission while still a minor."
Dorus wrote in April: "You cannot be condemned for going to a party just to have fun! ... [B]ut remember, when after the party someone suggests you top it off by going to a certain place (you know what I mean) then tell yourself and, if needed, also the others: 'Basta [Enough]! I am not going!'" (b2520 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 4/18/1877.) There can be no doubt that Dorus's warning about "a certain place" refers to brothels. By avoiding such places, he went on to say, one "can prevent heaps of sin and suffering." Then he cited a passage from De Genestet with distinctly sexual overtones: "Youth is like a wheat field, delightful and beautiful for the eyes. Howling, churning and swelling in the early morning wind!" (b2520 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 4/18/1877.)
Context:
JLB 118, 5/31/1877: "In your last letter you write that you were thinking about moving elsewhere if possible, and you mention London and Paris."
Context: BVG 88, 3/16/1877: " 'I am so lonely and sad,' you say. 'And yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me.'"
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: " I'm so sad and so alone, you say. 'And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.'"
Context:
JLB 117, 5/30/1877: "There were some words in your letter that touched me, 'I should really like to get away from everything, I'm the cause of everything and only make others sad, I alone have caused all this misery to myself and others.'"
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "'But they constrained Him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent', and another: 'They that sat in darkness and the shadow of death have seen a great light'; 'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.'"
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Rejoice, oh earth, rejoice unto God on high; / Let grateful tears flow from thine eye ..."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Rejoice on earth, praise God on high, / Let thankful tears stream from your eye ..."
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "If we let ourselves be taught by the experience of life, and led by the sorrowing for God, vital strength may spring from the weary heart."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "If we let ourselves be taught by the experience of life and led by godly sorrow, then new vitality may spring from the tired heart."
Context:
BVG 85, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "… vital strength may spring from the weary heart."
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "… new vitality may spring from the tired heart."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "And at such times, in which one feels tired of oneself, one may think with heedfulness, hope and love of the words 'Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your soul."
This complete volte face within months, perhaps weeks, is difficult to explain unless Vincent was being disingenuous with his brother. Or, more likely, his fervent argument to Görlitz was really a displaced argument against Theo's marriage. If there is a common thread, it is solidarity: Vincent did not want Theo to do anything that Vincent could not or would not do. That would explain why he did not support his parents' ban on Theo seeing the woman again. Vincent's permission no doubt contributed to Theo's decision to resume the forbidden relationship soon afterward. About three months later, Dorus launched his blistering attack on Theo for seeing the woman again (b2532 V/1982, ''Gogh, Theodorus van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 5/21/1877). We are assuming that Theo’s father discovered that Theo had resumed the relationship only some time after he had done so.
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "There can come a time in life when one is tired of everything, as it were, and has the feeling as if everything that one does is wrong."
Context:
JLB 119, 6/4/1877-6/5/1877: "… you'll also feel moved by the enclosed, I read these pages on a very stormy day last week."
Context:
JLB 104, 2/28/1877: "You have of course a De Génestet. Do read it much and often."
Context:
JLB 104, 2/28/1877: "You have of course a De Génestet. Do read it much and often. Pa sent me this once when I was in Paris: When I was a lad. ... There is no Priest who can explain / Him."
The night is come, but not too soon;
And sinking silently,
All silently, the little moon
Drops down behind the sky.
There is no light in earth or heaven
But the cold light of stars;
And the first watch of night is given
To the red planet Mars.
Is it the tender star of love?
The star of love and dreams?
O no! from that blue tent above,
A hero's armour gleams.
And earnest thoughts within me rise,
When I behold afar,
Suspended in the evening skies,
The shield of that red star.
O star of strength! I see thee stand
And smile upon my pain;
Thou beckonest with thy mailed hand,
And I am strong again.
Within my breast there is no light
But the cold light of stars;
I give the first watch of the night
To the red planet Mars.
The star of the unconquered will,
He rises in my breast,
Serene, and resolute, and still,
And calm, and self-possessed.
And thou, too, whosoe'er thou art,
That readest this brief psalm,
As one by one thy hopes depart,
Be resolute and calm.
O fear not in a world like this,
And thou shalt know erelong,
Know how sublime a thing it is
To suffer and be strong.
Context:
JLB 103, 2/26/1877: "Don't know if I already sent you that poem by Longfellow which I herewith copy out, it has often held a strong attraction for me, and will perhaps for you, too."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "After church I walked along that path behind the station where we walked together, thinking of you and wishing we could be together -- and kept on walking until I came to the cemetery at the end of a black cinder road running through the meadows that looked so beautiful in the twilight. The cemetery looks a little like that drawing by Apol in 'Eigen Haard,' there's a canal around it and there's a house surrounded by pine trees, yesterday evening the light was shining through the windows in such a friendly way -- it's an old house that looks like a parsonage."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "… there's a house surrounded by pine trees … -- it's an old house that looks like a parsonage."
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "I stood there watching the train you left in as long as it was still in sight. We're such old friends, aren't we? How long we've walked together, starting in the black fields with the young green wheat at Zundert, where we heard the lark at this time of year with Pa."
Context:
JLB 103, 2/26/1877: "The hours we spent together passed quickly, that small path behind the station where we saw the sun going down over the fields and the evening sky reflected in the ditches, and where those old moss-covered tree-trunks are standing, and the little mill in the distance -- I'll walk there again and think of you."
Context:
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "Today I received a long letter from home in which Pa asked me if it would suit us both to go to Amsterdam next Sunday [March 18], to visit Uncle Cor. ...We ought to do it, Pa seems very keen on the idea."
Context:
JLB 107, 3/8/1877: "I'm happy to be back in Holland, only I loved the work over there -- even with all the trouble and deep disappointment connected with it -- and continue to do so, and the disappointment and, for once, relative failure make me deeply attached to it"
Context:
BVG 87a, 3/8/1877: "I like being in Holland again, although the work across the Channel, notwithstanding all the trouble and profound disappointment, was dear to me. It is still -- because of the disappointment and relative failure this time, I am deeply attached to it."
JLB 107, 3/8/1877: "I'm happy to be back in Holland, only I loved the work over there -- even with all the trouble and deep disappointment connected with it -- and continue to do so, and the disappointment and, for once, relative failure make me deeply attached to it."
Context:
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape. Let none of these things move thee." (1 Corinthians 10:13.)
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Nothing shall separate us from the Love of Christ, neither things present, nor things to come."
Context:
BVG 89, 3/22/1877: "It is my fervent prayer and desire that the spirit of my father and grandfather may rest upon me, that it may be given me to become a Christian and a Christian labourer, and that my life may resemble more and more the lives of those named above; for behold, the old wine is good, and I do not desire a new one."
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "It is my prayer and deepest desire that the spirit of my Father and Grandfather may rest upon me, and that it may be given me to be a Christian and a Christian labourer, that my life may resemble that of them whom I name -- the more, the better -- for behold, that old wine is good and I desire not the new."
The timing of Vincent's visit to his uncle was partly determined by Theo's spring sales tour for Goupil, of which Amsterdam appears to have been the first stop. "I hope you have lots of success on your journey." Dorus wrote to Theo on March 17 ([b2514 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 3/17/1877). A week later, he wrote again: "We are longing to receive a letter from you and to find out where you are“ (b2518 V/1982, "Gogh-Carbentus, Anna C. van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 3/24/1877). Ever since Vincent moved to Dordrecht, his parents had been encouraging Theo to visit him there. "[Vincent] will be so happy if you go visit him sometime,” Anna wrote in late February (b2509 V/1982, "Gogh, Theodorus en Anna C. van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 2/27/1877). The parents clearly believed that Theo had a calming, stabilizing influence on his older brother. When the possibility of Vincent working in Dordrecht was first broached, Dorus wrote Theo: "I would so much like to have [Vincent] closer, also nearer to you" (b2804 V/1982, ''Gogh, Theodorus en Anna C. van'' to ''Gogh, Theo van'', 12/31/1876).
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "In the morning I went with Uncle Cor to see Uncle Stricker, where we had a long talk about you-know-what. In the evening at half past six Uncle Cor brought me to the station ..."
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "In the morning I went with Uncle Cor to see Uncle Stricker, where we had a long talk about you-know-what. In the evening at half past six Uncle Cor brought me to the station ..."
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "It is my prayer and deepest desire that the spirit of my Father and Grandfather may rest upon me."
Context:
JLB 118, 5/31/1877: "If I may become a clergyman, if I fulfil that position so that my work is equal to that of our Father, then I shall thank God."
Context:
BVG 45, 11/15/1875: "He [Gladwell] had never left the paternal home. Because of this never having left, he has a tendency toward morbid regret (however noble) of his father and his house. He sighed after them, as it is not permitted to sigh after God and heaven. This idolatry is not love."
JLB 58, 11/15/1875: "He [Gladwell] had never been away from home and, although he didn't let it show, he had an unwholesome (though noble) yearning for his father and his home. He yearned with a yearning that belongs to God and heaven. Idolatry is not love."
Context:
JLB 47, 9/12/1875: "Shouldn't it then be our ambition and hope to become men like Pa ..."
Flügel, übers Meer zu schweben
Mit dem Morgenrot,
Flügel, Flügel übers Leben!
Über Grab und Tod!"
[Wings, to float across the ocean
with the rosy dawn;
wings, wings to glide above life!
To glide above the grave and death!]
(Vincent inserts an additional "Flügel" [wings] at the beginning of the fourth line). After opening JLB 47, 9/12/1875 with this couplet, Vincent writes: "That's what we need, and I'm beginning to see that we can acquire them [wings]. Doesn't Pa have them, for instance? And you know how he got them, through prayer and the fruits thereof: patience and faith, and through the Bible, which was a light unto his path and a lamp unto his feet." The Rückert poem was set to music by Robert Schumann (op. 37, no.8). Other verses of the poem are interesting in light of Vincent's obsessions, both at the time and later:
[6] Ah! From the shores of exile,
where no boats beckon,
Wings, wings to the homeland,
where my crown flashes!"
and [8]"Often at silent midnight
I feel myself rising
with wings of dreamlike power
to the starry gate. (English translation of the last two stanzas by Emily Ezust.)
Context:
BVG 37, 9/12/1875:
Flügel, Flügel über's Leben!
Flügel über Grab und Tod!
[Wings to glide above life!
Wings to glide above the grave and death!]
JLB 47, 9/12/1875:
Flügel, Flügel über's Leben!
Flügel über Grab und Tod!"
[Wings, wings above life!
Wings over the grave and death!]
Context:
JLB 98, 11/17/1876-11/18/1876: "Lord, oh if Thou would only make me, not only almost but altogether, as it were, my Father's brother ..."
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "I hope to go to Etten on 11 February."
Context:
BVG 87a, 3/8/1877: "It was a glorious day when Pa was here recently; we took a walk together, and also went to the museum to see the pictures by Scheffer."
JLB 107, 3/8/1877: "It was a wonderful day when Pa was here recently; we took a walk together and also went to the museum to see the paintings by Scheffer."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Pa wrote that he had already seen starlings, do you remember how they used to sit on the church at Zundert?"
Context:
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: "There are storks here already, but I haven't heard any larks yet. It's often stormy, and then one sees swarms of crows and starlings."
Context:
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: "There are storks here already, but I haven't heard any larks yet. It's often stormy, and then one sees swarms of crows and starlings."
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "The window of my room looks out over gardens with pine trees and poplars etc. and the back of old houses, including a large one covered with ivy, 'a strange old plant is the ivy green.'"
There is no priest
Who can explain Him!
Man wanders the earth
In mysterious dim.
After fire and storm
I, too, sometimes soared
Although no Elijah --
Past the Lord ...
There is no priest
Who can explain,
But no one seeks you
On earth in vain.
(Daar is geen Priester
Die Hem verklaart!
In raadslen wandelt
De mensch op aard.
Na vuur en stormwind
Zweefde ook soms mij --
Schoon geen Elia --
De Heer voorbij ...
Daar is geen Priester
Die U verklaart,
Doch U zoekt niemand
Vergeefs op aard.)"
Context:
JLB 104, 2/28/1877: "You have of course a De Génestet. Do read it much and often. Pa sent me this once when I was in Paris: When I was a lad. ... There is no Priest who can explain / Him."
Context:
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: "The photograph of Mater Dolorosa that you sent is hanging in my room, how beautiful it is. Do you remember it hanging in Pa's study at Zundert?"
Context:
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: "The photograph of Mater Dolorosa that you sent is hanging in my room, how beautiful it is. Do you remember it hanging in Pa's study at Zundert?"
Context:
BVG 90, 3/15/1877-3/31/1877: "It is an old truth that the love between brothers is a strong support through life: let us seek that support. May experience strengthen the bond between us, let us be true and outspoken toward each other, and let us not have any secrets -- just as it is now."
JLB 111, 4/15/1877: "The love between brothers is a great support in life, that is an age-old truth, let us seek that support, let the fire of love between us not be extinguished, but let instead the experience of life make that bond ever stronger, let us remain upright and candid with each other, let there be no secrets -- as things stand today."
Context:
BVG 90, 3/15/1877-3/31/1877: "I believe that Father loves you more than she does -- that his love is more valuable; it is pure gold."
JLB 111, 4/15/1877: "Father loves you more than she does -- that his love is worth more -- these words are 'fine gold.'"
The child puts great faith in his Father
As befits the father's worth.
For who is closer than thy Father, is he nearer
In Heaven or on earth?
But Vincent was surely speaking of a proximity more emotional than spatial.
Context:
BVG 90, 3/15/1877-3/31/1877:
The child puts his faith in his father,
The father is worthy of faith,
For who is nearer than the father,
In the kingdom of God or on Earth.
JLB 111, 4/15/1877:
The child puts great faith in his Father
As befits the father's worth.
For who is closer than thy Father, is he nearer
In Heaven or on earth?
Context:
JLB 101, 1/21/1877: "I hope to give Pa Eliot's 'Novellen' (a translation of Scenes from clerical life), if we were to give something together we could give him Adam Bede as well."
Context:
JLB 377, 8/20/1883: "Theo, do you remember the days when I went round in a long minister's coat of Pa's &c.?"
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "In our family, which is indeed a Christian family in the full sense of the word, there has always been a minister of the gospel as far back as one can see, from generation to generation."
Context:
BVG 89, 3/22/1877: "Why shouldn't a member of that family feel himself called to that service now, and why shouldn't he have reason to believe that he may and must declare his intentions and look for the means to reach that goal?"
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "Why should a member of that family not now feel himself called to that office and think, with some reason, that he can and must declare himself and seek the means to achieve that goal?"
Context:
BVG 89, 3/22/1877: "It is my fervent prayer and desire that the spirit of my father and grandfather may rest upon me, that it may be given me to become a Christian and a Christian labourer, and that my life may resemble more and more the lives of those named above; for behold, the old wine is good, and I do not desire a new one."
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "It is my prayer and deepest desire that the spirit of my Father and Grandfather may rest upon me, and that it may be given me to be a Christian and a Christian labourer, that my life may resemble that of them whom I name -- the more, the better -- for behold, that old wine is good and I desire not the new."
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "I know that his heart is burning within him that something might happen so that I could give myself over not only almost but altogether to following Him, Pa always hoped I would do so ..."
Context:
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "O Theo, Theo, old boy, if only it might happen to me ..."
Context:
JLB 108, 3/16/1877: "I believe and trust that my life will still be changed, and that that longing for Him will be satisfied."
Context:
BVG 92, 3/7/1877: "… if there might be given to me both the opportunity and the strength needed to come to full development and to persevere in that course for which my father and I would thank the Lord so fervently."
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "… if I might be given the opportunity and the strength and the love required to develop and to persevere and to stand firm in that for which my Father and I would offer the Lord such heartfelt thanks."
Context:
BVG 92, 3/7/1877: "Oh! Theo, Theo boy, if I might only succeed in this, if that heavy depression because everything I undertook failed, that torrent of reproaches which I have heard and felt, if it might be taken from me ..."
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "O Theo, Theo, old boy, if only it might happen to me and that deluge of downcastness about everything which I undertook and failed at, that torrent of reproaches I've heard and felt, if it might be taken away from me ..."
Context:
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "O Theo, Theo, old boy, if only it might happen to me and that deluge of downcastness about everything which I undertook and failed at, that torrent of reproaches I've heard and felt, if it might be taken away from me ..."
Context:
BVG 92, 3/7/1877: "[I]f there might be given to me both the opportunity and the strength needed to come to full development and to persevere in that course for which my father and I would thank the Lord so fervently."
JLB 106, 3/8/1877: "[I]f I might be given the opportunity and the strength and the love required to develop and to persevere and to stand firm in that for which my Father and I would offer the Lord such heartfelt thanks."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "Yesterday morning I got a letter from Pa in which Pa wrote that Aertsen was dying and how Pa had been there again, as he wished to see and speak to Pa again. When I heard that, my heart was drawn to Zundert so strongly that I felt the need to go there again."
Context:
JLB 92, 10/3/1876: "Oh that Zundert, the thought of it's almost too much at times."
Context:
JLB 92, 10/3/1876: "I'm sending herewith a letter from the aunts at Zundert. You know that Aunt Bet[je] hurt herself so badly. I wrote and told them that, if possible, you and I would walk to Zundert sometime at Christmas."
Context:
JLB 102, 2/7/1877-2/8/1877: "Memories of times past came back to me, including how often we walked with Pa ... and heard the lark above the black fields with young green wheat, the shimmering blue sky with white clouds above -- and then the paved road with the beech trees -- O Jerusalem Jerusalem! or rather O Zundert O Zundert!"
Vincent may or may not have visited the Aertsens in the company of his father at Christmas or at times of sickness or death (of which the Aertsens experienced a great deal). Otherwise, Vincent would only have seen the elder Aertsen at church services and functions. Although Dorus saw Aertsen many times in the intervening years and the two clearly maintained a genuine bond (see, e.g., b2370 V/1982, "Gogh, Anna C. van" to "Gogh, Theo van", 11/3/1875), there is no evidence that Vincent saw Aertsen at any time after leaving Zundert in 1869. It may or may not be significant that Vincent did not spell Aertsen's name correctly (Dorus didn't always, either).
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "… my heart was drawn to Zundert so strongly that I felt the need to go there again."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "On Saturday evening I left on the last train from Dordrecht to Oudenbosch and walked from there to Zundert."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "It was so beautiful there on the heath, even though it was dark one could make out the heath and the pine-woods and the marshes stretching far and wide."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "The sky was grey but the evening star shone through the clouds, and now and then other stars were visible too."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "It was still very early when I arrived at the cemetery in Zundert, where it was so quiet, I went to have a look at all the old places and paths and waited for the sun to rise."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "It was still very early when I arrived at the cemetery in Zundert ..."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "I heard from Aertsen and Mientje, as soon as they were up, that their Father had died that night, oh, they were so sad and their hearts were so full."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "… they were so sad and their hearts were so full ... I was glad to be there; I sympathized with them."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "From there [Zundert] I walked with Hein [Aertsen] to Rijsbergen, and was in the house around an hour and we read together."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "Then I walked with Hein Aertsen to Etten and am now at home, leaving early tomorrow morning."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "I'll never forget that noble head lying there on the pillow; one saw, besides the signs of suffering, an expression of peace and something holy. Oh, it was so beautiful."
Context:
JLB 117, 5/30/1877: "[T]he calm and seriousness and solemn stillness of death contrasted so greatly with us who were living."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "… they were all so full of praise for Pa and what Pa had always been to them, and how fond those two were of each other."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "The aunts send you their regards, and Jan Doome too, whom I also went to see. ... Woutje Prins had also sat up for 3 nights with the deceased, and had stood by him till the last."
Context:
JLB 117, 5/30/1877: "… the memory of everything we have loved remains and returns in the evening of our life. It is not dead, but sleepeth and it is good to collect a great store of it." (Emphasis in original.)
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "You know the story of the Resurrection, everything there reminded me of it in that quiet cemetery this morning."
Context:
JLB 109, 3/23/1877: "I have such a great longing for that thing which you know of, but how shall I ever get it? How I wish that I, like Pa, had already done a lot of the difficult work of a Christian labourer and minister of the gospel and sower of the word."
Context:
JLB 111, 4/15/1877: "Mr. Görlitz is in Etten today to talk to Pa about the vacancy for a teaching post at Leur."
Context:
JLB 111, 4/15/1877: "Mr. Görlitz is in Etten today to talk to Pa about the vacancy for a teaching post at Leur."
Context:
JLB 110, 4/8/1877: "Theo, what do you think of Vincent surprising us again? He must take care."
Context:
JLB 112, 4/22/1877-4/23/1877: "Uncle Jan was in Etten and said that my room was already ready."
Context:
JLB 114, 5/19/1877: "Yesterday Uncle Cor sent me a batch of old paper, such as the sheet on which I'm writing to you. Isn't it wonderful for doing my work on?"
Context:
JLB 111, 4/15/1877: "… he thought it unnecessary to continue the correspondence, that he cannot help me in this matter."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "I've managed, in between times, to work my way through the whole story of Christ from a catechism book written by Uncle Stricker, and I copied out the texts."
The fact that Vincent kept virtually none of his parents' letters (nor the writing desk) suggests that his joy at this discovery was more about Vincent's desperate search for confirmation than reclaiming a desk of letters. Another example comes from a letter about a month after Vincent arrived in Amsterdam. "I have good hope that I shall succeed, it was once said to me by someone who was further on in life than I, and who was no stranger in Jerusalem -- I mean someone who had sought it himself and had also found it; it was once said to me: I believe that you are a Christian, you see, it was so good for me to hear those words." (JLB 118, 5/31/1877, emphasis in original.) This is indeed a thin reed on which to hang a decision as momentous as the one Vincent made. Vincent's "reasoning" appears to be that because this unnamed person in his past told him, "I believe that you are a Christian," therefore his ambition to be a preacher will be fulfilled. No even desperation sould sustain such an unsupported conviction for long.
Context:
JLB 388, 9/21/1883: "When I was very dubious about the plan to study, whether the promise to bring that about was straightforward and well-considered -- I thought then that they made the plan too hastily and I went along with it too hastily."
Context:
JLB 112, 4/22/1877-4/23/1877: "Lord, I should so much like to be earnest."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "[I]n the morning I heard the Rev. Hooyer's farewell sermon in the little French church. ... In the afternoon I went to the Grote Kerk to hear the Rev. Keller van Hoorn, whose text was 'Our Father'; in the evening I heard the Rev. Greeff."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "I walked along that path behind the station where we walked together, thinking of you and wishing we could be together -- and kept on walking until I came to the cemetery at the end of a black cinder road running through the meadows that looked so beautiful in the twilight."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "Now we look through a mirror into a dark reason, now I only know in part, but then shall I know even as also I am known myself" (Corinthians 13:12).
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "There can still be much good in store for both of us, let us learn to say after Pa 'I never despair' and after Uncle Jan 'the devil is never so black that one cannot look him in the face.'"
Context:
JLB 117, 5/30/1877: "God willing, [I] shall find grace in the eyes of some whom I love."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "Write again soon, this Wednesday, then, I'll be in Etten."
Context:
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "I hope to see you soon, because when I go to Amsterdam I'm planning to stop in The Hague for a while."
Context:
BVG 94, 4/30/1877: "Next Wednesday morning I am leaving for Etten where I intend to spend several days; then, I put my hand to the plough."
JLB 113, 4/30/1877: "I'm going to Etten this Wednesday, to stay there for a few days before putting my hand to the plough."
Context:
BVG 93, 4/22/1877: "To each day brings sorrow for 'the sower of the Word' that I hope to become, as one that sows wheat in the fields -- and the earth will produce nevertheless a pile of brambles and thistles."
JLB 112, 4/22/1877-4/23/1877: "For a 'sower of the word' as I hope to become, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, just like for a sower of corn in the field -- and the earth shall bring forth all manner of thorns and thistles."
Context:
BVG 93, 4/22/1877: "To each day brings sorrow for 'the sower of the Word' that I hope to become, as one that sows wheat in the fields ..."
JLB 112, 4/22/1877-4/23/1877: "For a 'sower of the word' as I hope to become, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, just like for a sower of corn in the field ..."